I feel like total cr*p
 

I just feel like breaking down in tears.:crying: I haven't felt like this in forever. My best friend is coming to visit from Mon-Thurs. and my parents won't let me go home with her to stay for a few days 'cause Sunday is fathers' day etc etc. I hate my father. It means nothing to me. My parents are only concerned with me getting a job and blah blah blah. It's like nothing ever changed from the time I told them about my SI to now. Like they just totally blocked it out. They're no different.:notsure: It's disgusting. Almost as disgusting as I am. You'd think they'd be remotely considerate, but no, and then they treat me like a little kid about getting a job and the reasons why like I don't f*cking understand it. Do they think I want to be home with them all the time? I should've stayed at school over the summer. Home=complete misery. I keep telling them that once I'm no longer financially dependent on them, they'll never hear from or see me again, and obviously I'm being dramatic and just childish. :ermm: All I can think of to do is just cry and cry and I hate it. I hate crying almost as much as I hate myself. I just wanna curl into a ball in some remote dark corner and die.

Honey, I'm so sorry your having such a miserable summer. You are in no way disgusting! And I'm sure you're not being dramatic or childish either- I know how difficult dealing with parents can be. You have every right to be upset about how they deal with your SI. I know your parents won't let you stay with your friend, but is there any place that you can go for most of the day to get away from them? That's how I got through Christmas break- I lived at a bookstore :) You can PM me anytime. Please keep us posted! *cuddles*

Well, sunday is father's day, your best friend will be around monday... shouldn't that give you plenty of time to plan something around that dreadful sunday?
As for insisting on getting a job, I think your parents are right. Eep, don't pounce me, I mean, if you get a job, it keeps you busy and in a routine which is a good thing because staying home thinking about SI is hardly positive. And it provides you with that wonderful and addictive little thing called money.
Maybe your parents would rather ignore your SI, or maybe they feel helpless in front of it, or maybe they fear you'd react badly if they tried to help you. I can only advise you to bring up the subject with them in a constructive manner, i.e. sitting down and talking, maybe consider together what could help you get better. show them you'd like them to be involved and perhaps explain to them better the implications of SI. It's probable that they don't have the tools to properly understand it in your situation.

It's not like I'm not looking for a job. I've applied to a bunch of places and no one wants someone just for the summer so it seems. My parents act like I haven't tried at all. I want a job, I don't want to sit home 24/7, but I won't go back to where I worked last summer either because the managers are entirely disrespectful and I won't put up with that sh*t. *sigh*