missing my scars
 

it has been alitttle over a month since i have cut and i am really struggling with the urges, but i hate my arm and am embarrased by my scars and try and cover thwm up from people, but in some wierd way i miss seeing the fresh cuts and the scars, i need to see them again. does anyone else miss the scars to look at. them just make me feel better. i hate them but i love them.

Great job on one month! you should be SO proud.
I know what you mean. I'm afraid my recovery will be hard because I can't imagine looking at my abdomen and seeing whole flesh again. I don't even know that I will have many scars because of how I cut, and I'm kind of afraid that someday they will be all gone. And then it will be like this never happened; and I don't want that; I don't want to lose the evidence of what a struggle it is.
So no, you're not alone.
*hugs*
PM me if you ever need to talk.

yea..its been a little over a month for me too... I definitely do miss seeing fresh cuts and scars but at the dame time am glad there not there......keep up the good work

Great job on the month. That really is fantastic. I know what you mean about missing the scars. I definitely missed mine because I felt they were a sort of security blanket. Just remember what you hate about them and perhaps you could find something else to wear on your arms to love. If I have a cool bracelet I fiddle with that rather than feeling my scars.

Congratulations.

Well done on going one month!
I feel exactly the same. After 18 months most of my scars had faded to white & i found it weird cuz they were still pretty noticeable to others but not really to me & i missed them. Also friends & family kept giving me advice on how to get rid of them & i didn't really want to. Was frustrating when i didn't want to see them though, like when wearing a pretty dress, i constantly think about what they will look like with a wedding dress! (although no prospects there yet!)
Now i have more new red scars & i don't want them cuz i hate hiding :(. I guess i can't really win!

Grats on the month!
In some weird way, looking at my scars sometimes makes me not want to cut, but knowing someday they might not be there to cut at, makes me want to cut more. It's a win loose situation, if you ever need to talk just pm me.

I feel the same way. I was trying to find dermablend last night to cover some so I could wear short sleeves. It was embarrassing that someone had to help me and see. But at the same time, I made it like 43 days, then slipped because I missed all of that. It sucks.

you are far from being alone. i though i was. i miss them, and i cut more because i want them back, even though i hate them at the same time.
but just think about how you feel about them hen you have them and how badly it sucks trying to hide them. maybe that will lessen the urges.

I no longer like my scars i wish if they'd just fade , they remind me of all the bad choices that i took , instead of talking about how i feel i just cut .

Keep fighting x

Congrates on a month!! but i know what you mean. i miss mine so much but hated other people seeing them. it was almost as if i had protection, but at the same time like i was being revealved to the world.
i can still see them vaugly though but they remind me that i fought a war and i won. well im winning.
i like the idea of the braclets though! thats a cool way that id never thought of. mabye distract you from being triggerd? i dunno. but it could help!
:D
Congrats again btw

Yes, mine are two months healed up and I got sad just today seeing them fading. I have the feeling that something that's mine is being taken away from me. It's pitiful.

Yes. Right now I'm only at like 2 weeks. But when I would stop for months at a time, I would miss it too. Even when my mom wanted me to use creams to get of my scars, I wouldn't use them. It's like they're mine. Even though they are ugly, and I feel ashamed by them, they are my own, and at times I don't want to be rid of them. They are for me...

congrats on the month.
but yeah i no that feeling.
but you gotta think about it.
even though its comforting to see those scars
seeing them again would only hurt you in the long run
youve made it this far
dont stop

Mine have all faded. I miss them so much and I still remember each and every one of them.

YES omgosh, i really really miss my scars!
I get sceared they will go away even more - i want them to stay!
They make me see what i feel.
I am really far in my SI recovery, like probebly almost a year free! Anyway, my scars are all white and faded.
So yes, i understand GREATLY what you mean.
In a way, the scars become a part of you, and i part you don't MISS but you WANT to remember, because it's part of you....okay maybe you DO miss it a bit, but that's not a good way to look at it lol :P

WELL DONE ON ONE MONTH GO YOU!

Kat xoxo