RYL Forums - Possibly triggering - I'm a b*tch but not sure why!

Ok, so a long long time ago I started having cyber sex with random guys. So, right from the start I was going wrong. However kids discover sex, it should not be like that. Kids should learn about it from other kids. But anyway. I lied about my age (I was only 11/12) and soon sussed out that if I wanted exciting and intriguing cyber that I wanted to seek out the older male. Mostly it was just like cyber one night stands. We used each others words to get our rocks off and then hardly spoke again and would both move on to someone else. Every so often a weird type of friendship developed. I say weird type of friendship as it was based on their sexual attraction to me and (as far as they were concerned) my sexual attraction to them.

At the beginning, it was all about getting a release and distracting myself. As time went on, the ones who I had developed a warped friendship with starting declaring their love for me. One claimed to attempt suicide after I told him I didn't want to know him, the other burst into tears when I told him he couldn't possibly love me and another claimed he loved me so deeply that he could think of nothing else. We would argue, decide not to have contact but a while down the line we would get back in touch. It sort of became a game for me. One of them would beg me to have cyber with him again and I would just laugh. I didn't do it, but I wound him up on purpose. I found it fun. Infact, I did it with all three of them. Deliberately winding them up. Trying to get a response. I try to drive them away for fun and then will try and get back in contact a few months down the line. I don't even feel sorry.

Why am I like this?

I don't do cyber very much anymore - tho it was really hard to give up. I do fall back into it every so often.