I suppose I deserve this crap
 

because things were just starting to go okay for me. Obviously, that's not allowed.
GOD.
Why oh ****ing why do I bother with life?
Gemma, lets face it, nothing is going to be right for you unless something goes horribly wrong in the process. Give up. :crying:
You won't get it back, just forget it. Forget everything. Curl up and hide forever.

What happened?

It sounds like you are having a patch of distressing experiences just now. I hope things ease off for you soon. It may feel like this is all there is, but it won't last forever. ((((gentle protective hug)))))

Hun, dont give up.
You don't deserve anything bad to happen to you, no one does.
You deserve to be happy, you really do.

What is it that's triggered this?

It is going to sound so silly. But this morning I left my phone on the bus, it fell out of my pocket and when I caught up with the bus at the next stop the last person on the bus had got off after me and had obviously taken it because, well it wasn't there anymore. And I had spent the night walking around with this guy, and it was going well until I realised, he wanted more than I wanted at the time, which is when I went off to get the bus.

Honestly it's like I just ruin everything I touch. One thing goes well something messes up. I spent the last two weeks house sitting away from home, and I have felt fine, I got home last night and had a row with Dad straight away. Then I went out, even though I didn't have much money, to get away from him and an all night arguement. Then this happens. I was starting to get on ok at work, starting to make new friends and stuff...arguements...losing/having things stolen...my PHONE. God.

This thing with the guy, GOD.
Just GOD GOD GOD.
I may as well just stay in my room like a hermit crab forever. Cause I have had ENOUGH.

Thanks for repyling. I don't think that I do deserve to be happy. If I did then surely something good would happen without 3 or 4 bad things all at once to make it seem less good.