I just need some reassurance.
 

I am in a very bad way. I'm shaky, my hands hurt, my head hurts, and I can't cry. I'm upset.... I'm scared, alone, I'm scared of what I could do alone. I'm horribly disoriented and am not entirely sure why I am this upset or what I did. I think I hurt someone very badly.

Please... I don't want to talk about it, but I desparately need some reassurance. Someone, anyone, just tell me everything will be ok. I'll be ok, the people I care about will be ok. Please. I don't know where else to go, and I'm terrified.

This difficult and distressing wave will pass. We all make mistakes, but it doesn't destroy everything, even though it may feel like it at the time. Relationships are mendable, our raw feelings can be soothed.

*holds you tight* it will be okay,, you can pull through this rough patch. i am not sure what else to say but i wanted to let you know you are never alone hun.

lucy.
x x x

things have a way of working themselves out. if you think you've hurt someone give yourself and that person some space if you both need it then when things have cooled and you've calmed down then discuss this with them. you may find that the person isnt as upset as you think they are. you will be ok sweetie, just try and distract yourself for a bit, do something calming. big hugs and take care
xoxoxox

I hope you're feeling a little better today; I know that sometimes things can be really scary. It may seem as though you will be stuck in a dark place forever or that you can't escape what you're feeling right now, but that isn't the case. Time moves forward and circumstances, people and, maybe most importantly, do change.
Take care
xxx

Hope your feeling better this will pass.
try and find an escape read a book or paint or draw or write - just scribble randomly.
It'll be ok - it WILL all come out in the wash.

A hug is about all I can manage at the minute - I hope that it's enough.
You will get through hun, I'm sure of it.
*hugs*
Take care xxx

thanks for all the replies. :)

I keep getting hit with the same waves though. I felt like my throat closed up at work, i actually had to go into the back and choke. Good thing i hadn't eaten anything--I have never had a reaction like that before. Has that happened to anyone? it was really terrifying. Sweat, choking, shaking.... only a shot of pain helped me breath easy again.

I'm also having horrible nightmares. Sigh.

I've read things like this happening a 1000X so don't overdo on that score. Just don't struggle. It's like being in emotional seaweed - the more you struggle the more stuck you get. Ease up and the storm passes sooner rather than latter.

It sounds like you had a bit of a panic attack there. If it comes up again, focus on your breathing, especially the out-breath. Feel your feet on the floor. And if you need to shake, allow the shaking. Its ok. You won't fall apart. You're safe now.

I'm here listening if you want to talk about things some more, like the nightmares, or the those waves.

Thanks for the advice, I'll definately try and think of those things if it happens again. I've never had a panic attack before. If that's what that was, thats kind of disconcerting. I don't want a new problem, lol.

.... I had another attack. The thing is, it's hard to stay away from the thing that's making me have this kind of physical reaction. It's so scary to have your throat close off....

I am so depressed. Sigh. My memory is fuzzy on everything that's happened the last few days. I feel like I'm completely going to pieces, having these kinds of reactions around one certain person. I can't possibly feel that bad about what I've done to this person, can I? He's hurt me a thousand times.... But I can barely look at him without wishing I were dead.

I guess I just need to keep repeating to myself that I'm not crazy. Thanks for your advice about the panic attacks though. I forgot it for a moment, but when I remembered it really helped. At least I didn't need...pain... to get my breathing started again.

You're not crazy in the least, hun, you're just a caring person. As others have said, this wave of distress will pass; even the bad can't go on forever. It's quite ironic to say, "just don't think about" (we all know it's not that easy), but I would suggest the distractions corner of the site - it's worked for me on more than one occasion, and hopefully it will for you too. ^^
Maybe watch your favorite movie? Read a book? Any of your favorite activities, really, are a plus.
Mind over matter, it's great that pain wasn't something needed this time.
PM me any time if you need to talk!

Stay strong,

-Senzafine

*huge huggles* things maybe be out of whack now...but I do promise, eventually things WILL get better, things WILL be okay...if you need to talk I'm always here okay???

You guys are sweet :)

I'm glad you managed to get through the awful wave without hurting yourself. That's a really positive step. :)

I hope I'm just neurotic and am not actually having genuine panic attacks. Like I said, I don't need anymore problems. hehe.