Sexuality? Confused....
 

Ok this is wierd to write.... :notsure: but I'm having a lot of doubts about my sexuality... It's so confusing! Sometimes I'm sure I'm straight, then I'm nearly sure I'm a lesbian and then I think I might be bisexual, it changes all the time! And yes I know it's something you can't force and that I'll probably find out in time... But how do I find out? I've never had a relationship (and I'm 18 :ermm: ) so I don't even know the difference between liking and loving someone...

So if anyone has some advice or stories about how they found out they're lesbian/gay/bi ...

i dont have any advice sorry, but i can relate alot. im nearly 16 (in like 3 weeks) and i still dont have a clue, never had a relationship and still cant tell the difference between likeing someone as a mate and like likeinging them, especially when they are a girl. it is annoying, but we will find out eventually

Im sorry i dont have much advice either. It must be very confusing for you and hopefully you will find out soon but I think the best way to find out is wait till that time when you find a relationship, whether it be with a guy or girl and then you should be able to come to terms with your sexuality.

just go with your heart you will know deep down how you feel. it took me about 5 years to finally work out i was a lesbian. but also loads people have crushes on the same sex. dont put too much pressure on yourself you are who you are you dont need a label....

im also 18 and i knwo exsactally how you feel. i have crushes on lads and girls, and i have no idea what i am, exsept me! i guess ive just thought that whatever happens with my love life will happen, and when i'm ready to make that decision on what, if anything, to label myself with, i wont even have to think about it. untill that point im me, and no-one can say anything different.

hope it helps

*hugs*
xxxxxxxxxx

Yeah I also think that when the time comes and I meet someone (boy or girl) I'll know but I'm so tired of waiting :( I've been in doubt for a couple of years now and it's just very annoying that I don't know :(

Thx for the replies!

I 'came out' when I was 22 (I'm now 29). I kinda knew from aged 17ish but wasn't sure and decided to not worry about it as I had enough on my plate to deal with and thought I'd just deal with it when it came up.

I fell for a woman when I was 22 and that was the definate answer I needed. and never looked back!

Maybe best to not force thoughts into your head and just let them come to you when it happens. It was no stress for me that way. I had no confusion or worries and it just came so calmly into my life.

Have you any close friends to talk to? Or maybe the lesbian and gay switchboard? http://www.llgs.org.uk/ they are very helpful online and on phone.

I realised I was bi a couple of years back. It was obvious I still like boys-I'd been in a couple of relationships, that hadn't done any good-but I still knew I liked boys. It's silly really-I knew I still liked boys sexually because I was attracted to them! Just walking down the street "Umm he's nice!"

I discovered I liked women through quite a long peroid of time. Maybe a year? Obviously having never had a sexual relationship with someone I couldn't say to myself "Oh yeah I like women" It was little tiny things that made me notice-that sort of built up. Like a girl I felt very close to breathing on my neck. A way she would laugh-even a way a model looked at me through an advert (cough) Uma Thurman (cough) It sort of dawned on me-I love women.

I'd say if you're questionning your sexuality-don't label yourself. Go about as 'curious' Try relationships with men & women. When you do find yourself in a relationship. Maybe you should try some G/L/B orginisations to meet other people who are discovering their sexuality like you?

P.S Youre always welcome in the Rainbow Room to chat about this-a whole bunch of homos with alot of experience

Legend :P

Ahh like other people have said, there's not too much advice to be had, though I would definitely say don't set out on labelling yourself. Also don't "worry" about it if you know what I mean...lyk it's an important part of your life granted, but looking for answers won't always help you find them. The answers however will come along soon enough, however frustrating, i'd say jsut go out and enjoy yourself. Count yourself are curious, don't rule out either sex, and see where your body takes you.

I hate the confusion it all brings, but ultimately sometimes it makes it that bit more exciting x

i feel exactly the same...
i'm 15 too..and have never had a relationship...
im just confused atm..
i guess we will find out though.

and btw if anyone from school (yes you!) reads this, then don't say anything please...

Absolutely!
I'd say there's no rush to find out what to label yourself...infact, there isn't really any need at all!
Just go with what feels right.
Fall for the person rather than in anatomy =]
You can drive yourself crazy trying to work it out, seriously... just go with the flow!
x

don't attach a label to yourself...it's pointless. in time, you'll figure out your sexuality. don't force yourself..it will come naturally to you.

I always thought that I might be a lesbian. Then I came to realize, when I look at girls, it's jealousy that I'm feeling, not lust.
Since having boyfriends, I've realized that I am straight.

I am definatly of the idea that u need to have relationships to be sure. i am the same as u, i am fairly sure i am gay but i have never had a relationship never been with anyone so i cant say that to my family as yet. i am 22 years old and to be honest it does get me down not knowing for sure. i am glad this thread was started as its summing up my life! as sad as it is

honestly, what made me finally decide one way or the other, is the fact that when i walk down the street, i very very very rarely see a guy and go 'oh, he's hot' and stare. but instead, i look at all the girls and go 'mmm, she's hot'. it's not something i do on purpose, it just happens.
i agree with everyone else, you don't need a label. i still hardly ever refer to myself as a lesbian. just be true to yourself and do what makes you happy or the most comfortable.

I think i do/used to do the same.
not so much now, but i used to more...
it took me a while to work that out..i'm still confused now though..

There are a lot of books on the subject, and movies... *thinks of the intervention checklist in 'But I'm A Cheerleader'* -That's what helped define things for me.

i never thought i was gay untill i got together with my best mate now we have been together for 18 months now and never been so happy, me and my girlfriend live together now and its the best thing ever, go with your feelings, XXX

sexuality is fluid! there is no need for labels! jsut go for whatever feels good! :wow: thats wat i do!

once you have a relationship with your same gender.
and with your opposite gender, you'll know which one you feel more comfortable being with.
don't worry about figuring it out right away.
there's no rushing a thing like this.
it'll just end up screwing with your mind.
and hurting people.
just be sure to know that your truley happy with the person.
and that you can survive any hardships that come along.
that's all that matters.

x