Alone. (includes silly rant)*numbers*
 

Just getting to be a lot and I dunno where else to rant. I usually like to do livejournal, but I don't want certain people to see.

I hate how I can't talk to people. I used to be good talking to Ben (the ex, still friends) but now it seems like he doesn't feel the need to be nice to me. Or he's just being mean. Anytime I say what I think/feel I get snide remarks or "I'm sorry what do you want ME to do about?" all angry. So now whenever he asks me what is wrong, I just can't say it! I know how I'll get knocked down, and he gets angry at me for doing that too. We've had this talk before, about this.

There isn't anywhere else to go. Relationship with Devon is just too uncertain, and the only other person who has said they'd be my friend, I'm just too shy/scared to act like their friend. I want to, but it's just a lot. No one wants to hear my problems/thoughts, I think crazy, people get too frustrated.

I want to say I'm stressed out of my mind about money. All these birthdays and I need some shorts, and money for books for camp, all coming so quickly.

I feel ugly. My skin never gets any better and my hair is a poofball.

I ate too much today. I want someone to tell me that I didn't, that I'm okay. Even if I'm not. Ice cream?! What was I thinking. Ruined an otherwise pretty good day. Must've been 800 cals, untill the ice cream. At least in two days I can get back in gym. Gross gross.

Where are le friends?

I dunno maybe this should have gone in rants....

*hugs* I'm sorry that you can't talk to your close friends! I wish I had some advice to give you. I'm always here for you if you wanna talk! I think a bit strangely too- so don't worry about me getting frustrated :)

800 calories isn't enough- there's nothing wrong with eating that ice cream! I know how you feel- I have an ED too- I know it's agonizing, but you CAN beat this!!!

*hugs* PM me anytime!

poofball= frizz-ease hair serum, on damp hair before you blowdry.

acne= proactiv really does work, its pricey, but it works.

icecream= delicious. i dont have an ed, b ut as a "veteran" of numerous hospitalizations, I have friends with them. i understand how hard it can be. just try to remember, you are strong. you can do this.

tomorrow is a new day.

=]

It may seem like your all alone. But, you're not. You have us. I would suggest maybe looking into seeing therapist/counseler/social worker? That could help greatly.

If you're stressed about money then make a budget. Just take out time to sit down and plan what you need to buy, rather buying birthday gifts. You could always make them something?

I also doubt you're ugly, what do you mean as your skin doesn't get in better? Scar wise? Or just overall?

And with hair, their many anti-frizz products. I know John Frieda as many products and so many others. Look for em'!

And 800 is not alot and it also very low. Also, eating ice cream is okay. It's yummy and make feels a whole lot better.

Take care

Kiki x