fading
 

thats how i feel for the last...well long time now i guess.
it's so hard to get up, to do anything at all..to come on here and try to reply or even just read. To email friends...i just...i cant seem to do it without a major effort.
i cant talk anymore
i shutting myself off, i know this but i dont care to be honest. It seems so trivial....
No psych, not getting the meds i should be taking
and i just cant seem to do anything about it
i just dont cvare enough to
i stay up all night till the sun comes up, then can finally go to bed, where i wish i could just stay
blah...i dont know why im even writing this..it seems pointless

romp

i dont know what to say except i am sorry and dont give up
keep fighting, get out of bed
and keep talking, keep posting
let us know you are okay

Ive been there many times.

But you know Romp you will get through this as you have done so many times before.

Be kind to yourself in the hard times. Things will get better

Much love

Matthew xxx

Keep fighting Rompy, you're a Pulmeria sister, we're born survivors.

dear romp
 

romp, you can do this. I am glad that you mannaged to post here, I know how it feels when the energy and the motivation is just not there, it's terrible. This was not a pointless post, it's important because it's how you feel and you're not feeling that good at the moment so let us support you. You are a brave woman. You can do this, we all believe in you here. Try and get your meds if you can as it could be the reason you feel so terrible, I know if I dont take mine I go a little crazy. If you have to pay for your psych, do they not do special circumstances like if the payments get too much?? I don't know how it is out there, but in England if you can't afford medical bills for prescirptions and things then you get help. It's so nice to see your name pop up on the screen, I haven't heard from you for a long time. really hope that you can get some rest from your troubled mind, find some peace somewhere, do some gardening or paint the sky. I know you have written poems before and they were very good.

Lots of love to you my friend
hammy xxxx

hi there romp...
im kinda in the same situation right now as far as no motivation, not wanting to get out of bed, etc.
it can get really bad if we dont force ourselves to do something but then the "i just dont care" attitude comes along and makes it that much harder.
theyve put me on ativan and it does nothing for me and i really wish i had the klonopin back but oh well.
im just trying to do little things right now...and romp...give yourself credit for the little things that you do accomplish. they will eventually get bigger.
much much love to you.
xx

hey romp, missing you like crazy here. maybe try setting yourself one task each day then when you do it you can tell yourself that you've acheived something. if you do your task every day for a week, then maybe give yourself a treat, a film or a nice meal with hubby (kids in bed or watching movie in the other room!).

set simple tasks such as *sweeping the deck*, *planting some seeds*, *dusting your windowsills*, *take the dogs for a walk*, change the bedspreads* etc, do one at a time, little steps as they say. love you v muchly, mand x

love you romp

*hugs*

Romp!!! Don't shut off!!! I know there is a lot of effort in living but if you don't make any effort it is hard to feel any different from where you are now. We will be here to help you gain your motivation back. It shall return eventually. Just make sure you get some sleep!!!

No words Hun.....but I love ya!!
xxxx

*throws another frog at you*

hoping that you know what that means

Miss you luv,
Rain

i dont know you but from what everyone else has said, you are a wonderful person and i really hope i can get to know you better. i do know how you feel but dont cut yourself off from everyone. even if you just read 1 post a day is better than nothing. you'll get through this. just stay strong and remember everyone is there for you if you need them. feel free to pm me if you'd like to talk.

soph.

thank you so much everyone, you are all so wonderful and such great support, thank you so very much!

I have started doing little things each day and am trying to see the good in it and ignore the voices saying how pathetic just doing dishes is when there is so much more to do...found out my new psych is not to be..he told me he would see me...the office says they dont do 'private patients' and they never received my referral anyways which the other office swears they sent....the GP's i've seen wont continue my meds, i'm out of all but one of them, that really is not helping. The old psych, asshole that he is, refused the pharmacy any refills..thanks so much, always knew you were a prick.

No psych is going to mess up my benefits which in turn screws up rent, food, bills etc...lovely. Knew it was going too smoothly; something had to **** up.

But i see MY gp on tuesday and i'm pretty sure he will continue my meds and hopefully i can see him and that will satisfy the benefits ppl till ican find a psych.

It's hard enought o reach out for help, to keep trying without this **** over and over. I'm more than willing to accept any help, tyr any group etc that is suggested no matter how scary it is...maybe i should refuse help, then maybe i'll get it huh?

Anyways, thanks so much...your words mean alot to me

romp

I love you romp. And doing the dishes isn't pathetic even when their is loads of stuff to do... I don't even do the dishes! I leave 'em and hope someone else does 'em!

HOpe you're GP is good. My GP is good, I wish I could share him with everyone!!!!

I love you sweetheart, PM me if you need anything!

Thank you :)
and yes im lucky, my GP is wonderful. I wouldnt have been able to start looking for help/opening up if not for him.

Just sooo damn discouraging...four years, more, i've been fighting for help and keep getting nothing...it makes it so hard to try again, its hard enough already without the thought in the back of your head that they arent going to help anyways and you have to force yourself to trust and be honest...only to have it turn to nothing...

Sad thing is..if i shot myself a few more times they would finally listen. Or another major OD. Or major wounds.....how sad that is...

romp

*hugs*
please dont do anything that extreme rompy

xxxlily