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-   -   Ever had a stranger touch your scars? (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2747)

.lost.the.tin.can. 06-06-2007 09:39 PM

Ever had a stranger touch your scars?
 
Until today I would have said no, however, at work today someone touched my arm. Stroked at my scars and talked about them. I froze in utter terror and shock. In my job, I talk to new people everyday, go up to them drag them over to talk to me, I have got confidence, generally, when I need it.

But that, that just, well it threw me completely and it put me in a bad mood for the rest of the afternoon. I only had my sleeves rolled up a little, cause I was just too hot to survive otherwise. It wrecked the last hour or so of work for me, and I didn't do very well at all.

I almost hope its crappy weather tomorrow so I can cover up and not be too hot.

Damnation. 06-06-2007 09:43 PM

No, I can't say that's ever happened to me. I've seen people staring at my scars before, but they've always been people that I know. The only time anyone's ever touched a scar was when my housemate noticed a deep scar on my leg, seemingly for the first time (even though it's months old) and asked me about it

.lost.the.tin.can. 06-06-2007 09:49 PM

Well, a few people I know have touched them, that doesn't REALLY bother me, a little uncomfortable sometimes but I deal. It was this randomer at work, I was like, yeah I am asking you to do something for me, but this is a little bit personal and non of your business. And I am at work...so please shut your cakehole. Of course being at work, in a uniform and with people around I couldn't very well go EFF OFF YOU WEIRDO, cry and run away!!! I wanted to though.




I'm used to the staring. Never been touched though. Feel really weird about it.

Damnation. 06-06-2007 10:24 PM

Well, yeah, I can understand that. I'd be thoroughly unnerved, too, if some random dude was like 'OMFG HAI CAN I TUCH UR SCARS *poke*??'

Cathy 06-06-2007 10:41 PM

Umm. Not a stranger.

My girlfriend has kissed mine before. Which was a bit comforting, really.

I hate it if anyone else had done that.

Beautifully Broken 06-06-2007 10:58 PM

I can't say that I've ever had a stranger touch my scars. My youth worker, school nurse and pastoral care teacher all have just to make sure they were all okay.
I can see how that could throw you. I'm not good with people touching my body in the slightest without permission.
If you want a chat, feel free to PM me.
Nic
xxx

raistlin 07-06-2007 03:02 AM

Yeah, I think I would be a little mortified, to say the least. lol. Seems kind of weird. But, eh. Try not to let it bother you so much. People are just curious and that seems a way for people to show they care a bit.

Amaryllis 07-06-2007 03:05 AM

My boyfriend used to kiss mine. It made me feel special.

.lost.the.tin.can. 07-06-2007 07:14 AM

Well, I know what my reaction would have been had I not been at work but see, I tend to be a bit of a good girl at work, don't like getting into trouble.
Well, today is a new day, and it's looking a bit murky weatherwise, so hopefully I won't even have to show any scars, for strangers to poke at.

I have other issues about work today, but I don't have the time to go into it right now. Thanks for replying everyone :)

Pedestal 07-06-2007 09:00 AM

Like a few people have mentioned I have had a partner kiss my scars, which helped me feel accepted by them at the time.

Anytime a stranger notices my scars and mentions them I come out with an excuse and try to 'escape' as soon as possible. I don't know if I could let a stranger touch them (I realise in your situation, you were a bit cornered).

Like someone mentioned before, it's natural for people to be curious. Though this person entered your personal space and 'overstepped' boundaries, was their response to you and your scars negative? I am just curious about this...

I hope whatever else is going on with work will settle, take care.

Aamanee 07-06-2007 09:06 AM

yes and it made us feel threated
we dont like to be touched at the best of times
but this was a creepy old man ( we arent say all old people are creepy but he was )
that come up to us and asked what is this
we said scars and he walked away
we see him every week cos he at the hospital unit we go to every week and he is a worker there
got to go there today :crying:
dont want him anywere near us

Tribe

Kaye-Kuntradiction 07-06-2007 11:26 AM

Generally I will keep my scars covered up; one day however I was wearing a fishnet glove and I guess my scars were showing through a bit at the time because she took it off me, gave me a weird look and kissed my scars. It actually helped me feel alot more comfortable with them. However if anyone else tries to touch them I'll automatically retract and slap their hand away.

Saerie 07-06-2007 02:21 PM

Hmm.. I remember sitting in the pub once. And this guy sat opposite me touched my arm and stroked them. Was quite odd since I didn't even know the lad.

I have one keloid one on my upper arm that one of my friends likes to poke.

camybaby 07-06-2007 02:26 PM

An ex felt like he had the right to do that to me. Even forcefully checking my arms in public.

.lost.the.tin.can. 07-06-2007 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pedestal (Post 41568)
Like a few people have mentioned I have had a partner kiss my scars, which helped me feel accepted by them at the time.

Anytime a stranger notices my scars and mentions them I come out with an excuse and try to 'escape' as soon as possible. I don't know if I could let a stranger touch them (I realise in your situation, you were a bit cornered).

Like someone mentioned before, it's natural for people to be curious. Though this person entered your personal space and 'overstepped' boundaries, was their response to you and your scars negative? I am just curious about this...

I hope whatever else is going on with work will settle, take care.

Work is settling down yeah, I think it is anyway. Thanks. Actually the womans reaction wasn't awful. She said, "Why have you been doing this to yourself darling? Have you stopped? I hope so...good girl." But it was weird man.
I don't remember it ever happening before.
I was shocked, and angry, nobody has the right to touch me at all let alone stroke my arms and comment on my scars. It really shouldn't be taking me this long to get over it.
Infact, no what am I on about? I am over it. I had a really good day today - well ok not a REALLY good day but not a crap day - but then again, it was cold enough for me to be way way covered up.
God I hope it's the same tomorrow.

jessye 07-06-2007 08:12 PM

You know when a stranger did it to me it was one of the best things ever.
It was some random guy about my age actually and I was out at a bar thing.
And he sorta grabbed me and asked me 'why do you do this?'
And I said ' I did it because I deserved it' And he said
'Noone deserves this, I promise you'
And then he gave me the best advice I've ever heard.
(We were a tad tipsy) and he said
'Whatever happens I want you to remember this, now repeat after me, I will not be a slave to my own demise'
Its in my sig and I think its just so..i dunno special maybe?
I'm 6 months free now

x

NIGHTMARE__x 07-06-2007 08:32 PM

I have, people at work mostly.
But old people dont really notice.

At my old job, the kids used to hold my arm or whatever.
I was scared one of them would notice. But thankfully they never did.

Im not really bothered by it tbh.

x

Urethra Franklin 07-06-2007 08:36 PM

Oh yes It's happened to me... I was in a bar, my head was reeling with ale and I was approached by a girl who could be charitably described as 'accommodating'. "Oooh how'd you get those?" she said poking them, as I stared unashamedly at her chest. "I can't feel you doing that you know... but I know something else will!" I slobbered.... I think one of the best things about being drunk is you can't feel women slap you hard when you are being especially oafish...

xsugarandspicex 07-06-2007 10:12 PM

Michael.. youre so smooth!!!

my scars are mostly on my legs, so people only see the ones on my calfs and theyre not so bad... but i hate it when people accidentaly touch the ones on my thighs (yes.. randomers stroke my legs all the time :S).
they go all tingly and sensitve and i get all hot.
but thats with anyone.. even my girlfriend.

i dont mind anyone at all seeing them, but i dont like them being touched.

Hannah_x 08-06-2007 07:43 PM

I had a friend of a friend ask me if he could touch them the other day, I was like "No bloody way."
I hate anyone touching me full stop, really.
x


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