RYL Forums - BPD - Splitting

All or nothing thinking.
Like, either love or hate, nothing inbetween.
The way it is with you that you've described, is kind of like an offshoot of it, it's expecting 'the worst'.. In my experience, that comes from past experience, PTSD-style.

Quote:

Splitting: A mental mechanism in which the self or others are reviewed as all good or all bad, with failure to integrate the positive and negative qualities of self and others into cohesive images. Often the person alternately idealizes and devalues the same person. From a psychoanalytic point of view, splitting is fundamental to borderline personality disorder, and underlies the dramatic shifts in the person's experience of self and others and their difficulty in finding a stable adaptation to life.

http://www.bpdresourcecenter.org/what_glossary.htm

Quote:

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often see both their internal selves and external world in extreme terms; this is referred to as splitting. Splitting is how a BP functions - in terms of black/white, good/bad, love/hate, or worthy/unworthy.
Splitting is a defense (or self-protective) strategy that starts in childhood as a way to deal with mixed feelings toward a needed caretaker. "Splitting off" the negative feelings and being more aware of the good feelings allows a sense of safety in the face of a parent who is experienced as hurtful. This strategy is used by all of us to some degree, but becomes a problem in BPD due to relying too much on this strategy, and lacking of other, healthier coping strategies.

BPs tend to view themselves and others in terms of these extremes, and are unable to experience contradictory feelings or perceptions of others. zSB(3,3)When the BP perceives a person as one extreme, she has no awareness of feeling differently about the person. For instance, Sarah could not say enough good things about her friend Lucy. Everything Lucy did seemed like magic to Sarah, as if she could do no wrong. Lucy then did something that really disappointed Sarah. To hear Sarah talk about Lucy today, there is no good about her and never has been. Sarah is not just saying this; she really believes that she never cared for Lucy, but had only tolerated her.

BP’s also experience others’ feelings about themselves in similar ways. For example, Kelly has idealized her boyfriend, Roger. He becomes angry when she does not perform a task that he had asked her to. Roger becomes angry with her. Kelly is consumed with angst; she fears that he will always feel this way and that she is not worthy, or no good. She is unable to recognize that his anger will dissipate, or that she is worthy of him caring for her. She reacts much as a child would, unable to feel “good” until her boyfriend forgives her for letting him down, and unable to recognize that that he would, in fact, forgive her as he has done in the past.
Splitting can also impact a BP's perception of, and involvement in, jobs, classes and activities. Even here there is no middle ground, or gray area - there are only extremes

http://bpd.about.com/od/livingwithbp...littingFAQ.htm

Basically, what your dr means is that you're doing what you think splitting is in relation to others, in relation to yourself - and only seeing the downside.
imo they're kind of splitting hairs here [lol!] but I think I get what he means.