Not doing so good **possible trig**
 

I don't really know why I'm posting this, just kinda need to get it out.

The new meds I'm on are kicking my ass. The side effects make me feel worse than I did before I went on them. I know I just have to ride it out and it'll settle soon, but I'm really struggling to keep going right now.

My boyfriend, well, my ex, broke up with me and basically said that until I stop cutting and get help for all the mental stuff going on in my head, he won't be with me. I hate that he's manipulating me into this but I'm doing it anyway. He doesn't seem to realise that I won't be able to stop cutting until I'm ready to, and forcing it by the way of blackmail will only make it worse in the long run. It's making me hate him. He's not here (He's in Alaska) he doesn't see the scars or the cuts or the blood, he doesn't know and he doesn't understand. He thinks he's doing the right thing, that this is the only way I'll get the help, and he's probably right, but it's going to be at the cost of our relationship. He doesn't understand what this is doing to me. I love him and I know he loves me and he's worried about everything...but I'm being pushed and pulled in all different directions and I'm so confused and exhausted and I just can't do any of it any more.

Sorry

x

Hey, hang in there.
Have you tried explaining to him that it's not that easy? that you can't just stop until you are ready to quit and even when you do, you'll more then likely have slip ups?

I know it's hard, but it's prolly best to wait to be with him until you've got yourself sorted. It's very hard for relationships to work when one, or both have mental illness's.

Give the medication a go, see if it helps. Get some counselling if you haven't already got/had some. Sort yourself out a bit and then try again with the guy. If you're meant to be with him, things will work out, how ever long it takes. But it prolly is best for the both of you, in the long run to be apart. I know it'll be hard, but i'm sure you'll be able to get through it.

Take care
x

Aww. Sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Though I think it's good that you are starting to get help because of this. I think ya should show him some articles on it so he knows that during this time, pushing you away isn't going to help you much. I hope ya feel better soon.

That sucks that you are so far away, how did you end up in Edinburgh and he end up in Alaska.

Have you tried talking to him and explaining to him that it is something that you have to stop on your own time, and forcing you to do something you're not ready for is only going to make it worse?


AD