how much longer??
 

So, I'm on my way home from work yesterday and I always pass a DIY shop in order to get the bus. Well, This one was running an offer on Stanley knives (Do you think someone was telling me something?)

Well, I gave in and bought three packs of blades... bad sign 1

I got home and later that night, opened them up... bad sign 2

I cut... a lot... an awful lot.... bad sign 3

I passed out... bad sign 4

I woke up.

bad sign 5

All I can remember from last night is sitting down and calmly and carefully opening the pack and wiping that grease sh** that they put on the blades to stop rust. I rolled up my sleeve and cut... I slumped back on my bed and everything seemed to slow down.

It wasn't until I heard the dripping of the blood on the floor that I realised how bad it was... I never noticed, but I cut my leg too. badly. I can still walk, but I limp a little. My left arm is pretty much covered in cuts and I look like I have been in a fight with a hedge strimmer.

so, sh** basically...

Good signs

1) That you recognised that you made some unhealthy choices.

2) You are posting here for support.

((((gentle hug)))))

Is there anything, apart from the shop and the blades simply 'being there', that is behind such an episode of cutting? How is your life going right now? What exactly is it that feels so unsafe? How are you planning to manage the next few days? Can you dispose of the blades, and take a different rote to/from work? Those are 2 positive things you can do for yourself, positive choices you can make. You can also start to understand how you're feeling right now, and look at getting some support for that. ou have made one step in that direction by posting here.

Aww *cuddles* I dont think it was a sign, them being on offer but a temptation, and maybe you thought it would be easier to buy them when they are on offer without any funny looks.

That was last night, *cuddles you lots* but maybe you could get rid of them now, as they are dirty or put them somewhere out of reach with plenty of nice things and distractions in front that are easier to reach, stay on here, use them arcade games.. they are so cool :)

As for your wounds, are they clean and covered with light dressings at least? I imagine they hurt a lot and are quite open which is at risk of infection.

My best advice (probs not that great anyway) is.. concentrate on how you are going to make this night better, what you are going to do etc. Maybe plan your evening so that you are not left with spare, empty time. Have a friend over or go for a walk, dig out a fave film.

Take care
X Marie X

~longing~tears~ : I've already got rid of them and the route I take to and from work is the only one... the route takes miles and goes the long way...

self calm: yes, I've already dealt with them and they are fine... Limping sucks though!... I pretty much destroyed the old blade and put it out of use... I'm ok now though.... vbmenu_register("postmenu_38311", true);

Now they are gotten rid of, maybe look to just making this evening nice for yourself, doing whatever keeps you occupied and busy, I dunno what you think of the arcade games but i think they are pretty damn good :P

Whatever you do take care and congrats for chucking the blades out, you are safer without them so you are making positive choices now :)

X Marie X