does anyone else kind of like their scars..? trigger *SI*
 

I know i shouldn't, and at times I hate hate hate them being on my forearms, can be awkward etc, and I've brought bio-oil which I know works to get rid of them.. but I'm only pretending to my mum that I'm putting it on. WHY?! It's so warped. I look at pics I took of cuts, blood and scabs and now look at my arm of just scars and I'm like well thats not as fun anymore, I need to do more, but atm it's like my arms refusing to let itself be cut! the last time I did it with a knife this week it wouldnt go too deep and didnt properly bleed but enough to leave a mark still, but I think I've bruised the skin cos theres kind of a bump so maybe thats y my skin won't cut anymore atm? v sore but v frustrating. I have photos still of the worst cuts and blood I made once, it was so bad my wooden floor was covered by my bed in blood, it was on my drawers, my curtains, my bedclothes.. and I just left it for weeks I couldnt bring myself to clean it, it looked like something out of a horror film. But my point is if I did that before why can't I do it now? soz 4 the rant

some people will like scars, as some people who feel hurt emotionally, like to be able to see something which corresponds with the pain that they are feeling - if you understand? You see a scar that you have, and it is a reflection of pain that you have felt.

I have Bio-Oil as well, I was using it like crazy before I went on holiday in the summer, to try and dim some scars that I had - and it never worked, and my mum saw them anyway - should probs try it again.

Maybe you can't cut now, because you feel more guilty about it, I don't know but I suppose it's a good thing that you can't.

Take care of yourself xxx

Hmm... I like my scars about 60% of the time, other than that I just feel stupid and ugly with them. But the ones I had to close up (sort of) for healing, I feel weird about because I wish they were as wide as they were when I did them, so people would know I can take it that far, but I know I couldn't have left them open.

I know what you mean about pretending to use the bio-oil! I don't have that, but I told my mom a while ago that I wanted scar-removal surgery, but since then I've cut more and I feel embarrassed and I don't want to get surgery if I'm not done with cutting, ya know?

It's all very strange.
xxx

quote "I wish they were as wide as they were when I did them, so people would know I can take it that far" quote

omg thats how i feel sometimes, it's like on one hand its my secret but also its like some kind of twisted pride saying look what I can do! but of course no1 had seen it so when it fades its like a disapointment.. kind of..

Umm...I wouldn't say that I like my scars as much as you do but here's my thing: when I'm all done with cutting and I've been recovered for a while, I want to be left with some faint scars, so that they're not really obvious, but some people who see me a lot will notice them, and understand what I've been through, but also know that it's in the past...sorry I know that's weird. But I definitely don't want my scars to fade completely because then it will be like this whole period of my life and all the suffering in it never happened at all...and I won't have anything to remind me of what I've been through and what I've overcome and such. Um I'll stop rambling now.

no that really makes sense. it's like if I've spent this period of my life so messed up and doing these things, if the scars fade completely its like it didnt exist and i have nothing 2 prove it..

I quite like mine half of the time, but the other half I feel stupid and embarrassed by them...like other people have said, I don't want them to fade completely because once I recover it would be like it never happened... and if they stay, people might see them and realise that I'm not ok...but I can never bring myself to show anyone...
Yeah, I think it's quite normal to like your scars to some extent.

-shrug-
i don't like nor dislike my scars.
They're just there.

I sort of like them being there, but I hate that other people can see them.
The thought of not having them terrifies me though =/

Love the ones on my upper arm. Hate them on my forearm.

love the ones on my forearm and wrist, hate the ones on my upper arm and legs

I love my scars and i don't want them to fade.I don't know the reason but i want my arm to be full of scars.when they heal sometimes i reopen them.i think that because as the others have said if they fade it will be like nothing happened.you know all the pain and the feelings and everything.i just wanted to tell you that you aren't alone in this!

I do like my scars and I hate the fact that ones I've had for over 5 years are fading now. They're meant to show that I got through the most awful time in my life, and now that they're going, it's like it never happened, and I never got stronger :( Not that I am, but I survived...

I don't like them because the fact they exist means other people can potentially see them.

If it were just me seeing them I'd be indifferent. I don't like to see them, but I don't particularly hate to see them.

I love my scars... My mom wants me to use that mederma scar reduction crap... but I won't... there was a reason I put them there in the first place, & to erase them is to try and pretend like none of it ever happened... I feel like it would be dishonest to get rid of them...

Like if i got rid of them I would be trying to say "Look at me, I'm happy and normal" && I s'pose I am now, but I think if I couldn't see my scars I'd try to make more, just so I'd remember the misery I felt...

&&&&& "those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it"...

I like my scars also, they're my battle scars.

I believe when you refer to the bumpy skin and lack of being able to cut it, it's most likely due to scar tissue underneath, where the skin has been damaged persistently.

I have a patch on my right forearm that was 'my place' for a good few months, and now I can't get a good cut there. The downside is the skin feels rough and bumpy/lumpy, crispy almost.

So, I apply double base cream several times a day now. It soaks in quickly enough, leaves little residue and is cheap! Perfect :P

Try, if you can my lovely, to give that patch of skin a good break and let it recover as best it can.

Nats xxxooo

Its always like 100% no one day and the next it can be 100% yes.

I hate the way they look and the way they make people see me as a person

Sometimes i look at them and see that they are maybe my punnishment for something so im not so bad anymore because ive been punished so its even (make sense?)

Sometimes i can even pretend they're not there

SOmetimes I hate them. I find it hard to comprehend what I have done to myself, but at the same time, they are a part of me. They tell a story, and no matter how much pain I've gone through, it's not something that I ever want to forget, because ultimately, it has made me the person that I am.

I love mine.. I have my reasons for putting them there, and I won't try to erase them for anyone else (no matter how much my mum wants me to put cream/oil on them) becase to do that would be to pretend none of this ever happened and it wasn't that important. At least that's how I see it. Plus I like the look of them, the way the light makes them shine and stuff.

I'm weird like that.

yes and no
 

each one is like a phycal memory trapped in my flesh... have a group of scars that look like an arrow... but suck with want forget about them..