Actually my not-exactly woes
 

My family are having a hard time

My dad found out today that he's got a 'little bit' of cancer.

My sister keeps going off to try to kill herself and in the meantime is starving herself.



No one believes I can fly, even though i told them about the clues and messages.

I'm so sorry things are difficult for you and your family members. It can be extra hard when there are lots of people struggling at the same time. Do you have other family members who can support you all? Are you still seeing your therapist etc?

There's Mum, L and big sis. I don't know about therapist, there have been murmurings about having a break from therapy.

Edit: just to be clear, they're thinking of a break because I'm 'struggling'

My room smells of blood. I've washed my clothes and towels, I've emptied my bin, I've sprayed a nice smell.

Did you hurt yourself or is this just something you're smelling? Please get help if you need it and haven't done so already. Do you think therapy has been making things worse recently? Will someone else step up to support you?

I cut on Saturday and it's smelt since then.

The voices have got worse since we started focusing on them in therapy but the psychologist said that was normal. I don't know what the plan would be if therapy was paused. My cpn said he would phone me today but I have just texted him, getting really strong urges to fly, getting stronger all morning.

Edit
I tried to go but Mum heard me leave and said she would just follow me and stop me. She's persuaded me to call 111 together.

Edit
111 said go to utc/a&e but I'm not going because I don't want what they have to offer. I've taken some PRN and am going to have a lie down. No point trying anything with my family alert.

Sorry you've not managed to get support that is suitable for you. How are you feeling now? Did your CPN get in touch? Sometimes therapy can be so stressful looking at difficult things that it causes you to go backwards a bit but that doesn't mean it will stay that way. Please don't try to fly, there's a reason people don't want you to do it - you wouldn't be able to fly no matter how certain you are and it would be dangerous to try.

CPN said to try a referral to Haven but thankfully they said I'm psychotic so won't take me. Not good to be thought psychotic! But I don't want to be patronised at a Haven.

I'm here at cmht for therapy but thinking I shouldn't be here, I should be trying to fly.

You should definitely not be trying to fly, would you think anyone else should try to fly? I don't think it would work and you would get hurt. What do you think the purpose of trying to fly is? Do you feel ok about continuing with therapy?

To be like an angel.

We are having a break from therapy.

There's nothing wrong with being a human as you are. You are supposed to be a human not an angel and trying to fly wouldn't achieve that anyway. What's the plan for your support going forwards now therapy is paused?

Thanks for your reply osc. I don't know what the plan is. I spent most of the afternoon SHing then saw an opportunity and went to the car park.

I am in a Place of Safety, police brought me here last night. I'm waiting to be assessed. What do I say so I don't go to hospital?

Sorry things are like this. You have to be honest, it's the only thing to do even if it means you need to go to hospital. What is happening now?

I've been assessed, they say I have to go to hospital but there are no beds...

So what's happening in the meantime? Are you accepting of going into hospital?

I've got a bed, going there tomorrow lunchtime. I'm not really accepting at all, trying to think of ways to escape.

Edit
They brought me 2 lots of PRN even though I was lying calmly on my bed. I said I didn't want it and they were like, "it will help you, don't you want to get better and get out of hospital?!" and they wouldn't leave me alone so I agreed to take one of the PRNs.

Thinking of you.

Saw in general chat that you are headed to the ward now. Hope the staff are nice and that it's a short admission

Thanks lr. The staff are ok. I don't think they like me but oh well. The voices/people are sending me messages about the electricity but it's all very confused and I don't know what they want me to do. I'm finding it hard to keep hold of my thoughts and it's stressing me out.

I hope the staff treat you with respect and are there when you need them. If you're confused would it help to talk to someone? How was your night? How are you getting on so far today?