want to get worse to scare therapist
 

Is anyone else motivated to get worse just to scare your therapist? I've been in therapy since April and things have started to get better...but now we have a break for Christmas and my head is like OK just don't eat for these weeks so she gets a scare when you go back and she sees how thin you are...

What is going on, why is this motivation for me?🤦*♀️

on some level yes we have when it comes to things like self harm. but we talk with ours a lot about how we don't need to hurt ourselves or do something physically to prove we are not okay or struggling. how instead we can use our words, even if they are not the best words to explain things. and she will believe us. the fact that she does believe us is really important.

definitely would be something worth talking to your therapist human about so you can work through it together.

why would it be important to you to scare her? what would that accomplish? what other safer ways can you do whatever it is that not eating would? if you've been starting to get better, what has worked so far that you can try?

it is a really hard time of year when they are off for so long. did your therapist human help you set up any arrangements for support while they are gone?

This has happened for me too, although I don't think the feeling is 'scare', it's more of a 'show' and as above for me it's about using the physical change to get someone to "take me seriously".

It could be worth thinking about what you want to gain as the outcome from this? What would their response be that you'd be looking for, and what would it mean?

You are not alone though. And it's hard to fight that thought, but that thought is the eating disorder, and you can go against it. Maybe it's worth remembering your reasons for things getting better oe what feels better for you n(even things like having more energy?) and see if that can motivate you. Then you cash report that you noticed this urge, but instead did this, but still talk through the feeling of wanting to scare them

Yano sometimes if I can't eat it's due to how I feel protein drinks area good source of food if you can't eat I have days I eat N then due To my depression and anxiety going through roof I dontwant to eat try protein milkshakes if you can't eat rather than starving yaself I tend Todo that alot N it's quite easy to fall into a pattern of not wanting to eat bur t its better drinking protien milkshake drink than nothing i know ya get the shits fr not eating but its better than. Nothing x

Minx, I think the OP is talking about an eating disorder and explicitly wanting to reduce their intake (liquid or otherwise) but I'm pleased that have found a way to manage periods of struggling to eat.