Consent? Adult content - Potentially triggering for S/A
 

I don’t know if this is appropriate for me to post here or not so please delete if not.

At the weekend I was out celebrating my birthday with a friend and had waaaay too much to drink. Her husband (who was sober) came to pick us up. I know I was very drunk because I do not remember the drive home, I do not remember stopping to get food.

We get home, I’m supposed to be sharing the bed with my friend and her husband agrees to take the couch - this is pretty standard when I have stayed over in the past. However this time is different, he is in the room and we’re all chatting. They start kissing and it starts to turn s*xual and I was watching tv trying to ignore it then he started stroking my leg and he asked me if I wanted to do this with them. I definitely nodded yes but I know I was thinking in my head no. I don’t even know why I said yes.

I wasn’t pressured, but I know this is something I would never do sober. It not even something I have ever thought of doing. I just feel like because I was so drunk even though I said yes, he should have known since he was sober that I wouldn’t normally have agreed to something like this. Like I don’t even remember it all I’m almost sure I passed out.

I don’t even know what I want to gain from posting this. I just feel kind of like I was taken advantage of. But I consented so he didn’t do anything wrong. Sorry I just need to get my thoughts out.

Hello,

Sorry you had such a horrible experience. You can't consent when you are super-drunk - the sexual offences Act for Scotland* explicitly cites the effects of alcohol as being on the things that can prevent you giving 'free agreement' to sexual acts. It's not clear how much understanding he will have of this but he definitely did something wrong.

How are you feeling now?

(*your location says Scotland so I looked up the law there; apologies if you no longer reside there and it just looks weird)