*cries*
 

i harmed....
id been doing so well.
i didnt cut but i bruised. but its all the same.
im so disguste wioth myself.
but i felt like a zombie getting my "tool" and sdoing it.

i cant cope with all this stress all at once.
maybe if thibgs could happen a little more slowly or spaced out, i could handle it better.

im so sorry.
love to asll.
xxxxxxxxxx

*sits with you and holds out a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on*

Try and be gentle with yourself....

Rachel sweetie you're going through so much. I'm sorry that you had to self harm. *gives you a shoulder to cry on*

love you lots xxxxxxx

thank yiu so much guys...

everything is jus all on top of me at once.
i had 3 nightmares last night which doesnt help anything.

i dont want to die...just disappear for a while...take a break or something.

im just mentally exhausted.

and the WORST part about this ahrming part is that when kelly saw it...she went and cut herself.

she used to harm years ago and i dont know if she did it because she was upset with me for harming or what. and now i feel like i "made" her do it.

i just dont know what to do with myself anymore.
im no good for anyone.
i need to be put in quarantine somewhere and just left there.
xxxx

I can understand how you must be absolutely exhausted.

Dont blame yourself for Kelly having cut herself, she will have had her own reasons for doing so. I know it must be scary for you. Perhaps you could talk to her about it, show her you care and she might give you some insight. You have each other and you can be strong together.

I know how it feels when you just want to dissapeare, but you'll get through this Rachel, just as you have got through everything else. Your courage is amazing.
much much love to you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I don't know much about you hun but you left a lovely message on my thread. It made me smile just to know somebody had read my ramblings and had the time to leave me a nice message.
so *huggles* back
xxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh Rach
*snuggles you*
I'm sorry you harmed...please don't beat yourself up over it it happens to the best of us.

Much much love to you sweetie.

xxxx
Alyssa

Hi Rachel,
*asks if Kelly needs a bang-aid.*
*offers you an ice pack for your bruises.*

I'm sorry to hear that you're so overwhelmed. Hopefully after Tuesday you'll have an answer and that answer will be that the tumor is benign.

Waiting for something you know will be a challenge seems to be so difficult. Waiting is an action.

I'm sorry you hurt yourself when you're already hurting so much!

Love, Blondie-Susan

*hugs*
please dont beat yourself up over harming.....everybody has challenges some more than others...i know its hard right now but please try not to upset yourself too much over harming.
can you talk to kelly and tell her that your in this together no matter what happens and that you can both get through this together and become stronger people for doing so.

im sorry i dont know what else to say sweetie.