Trying To Move On...
 

Its been over 2 months nearly 3 since i last self harmed. I'm really proud of myself, I dont feel anything anymore, idont even feel happy about it, i just feel lost, empty and paranoid. is that normal? im trying for myself and my fiance because hes given me so much support ijust wana thank him for being there. But i still feel shaky and down about stuff, im kinda scared of leaving it behind me. is that weird? xx

Hey,
Firstly, congratulations on the 2+ months SI free! That's a massive achievement, it really is - even if it doesn't feel like it currently.
I'd say it's normal to feel like that during recovery every now and again, so try not to beat yourself up over it. Use your finacé as much as you need to, especially during such a tricky stage. Use all the help you can possibly get, and keep reminding yourself of the downsides to self-harm, why you stopped, who you stopped for, and so forth. Don't be scared to tell people what things are like, and try to stay strong and positive.
Perhaps give yourself an incentive too, like a large treat if you reach a certain length of time.
Take care, good luck,
Rach x

hey:)
again, well done on not self harming for so long. its normal for sometimes it to be harder than others, just keep talking about how you feel to people that care, sounds like you have people to support you. keep going and thinking about all the postives about not self harming, even if its hard to believe that they outweigh the negatives in harder times, because you are doing so well. keep being strong honey, we are all behind you xxx take care xxx

Hey darlin, as others have said you have done really well to be nearly 3 months free.... I think that is one of the hardest times and you've proved you can do it.

You said that you weren't feeling happy about it, why do you keep thinking about it? If you have found yourself being able to live without it, do you try and enjoy lifes moments?

What makes you paranoid sweetheart?

I think what you are feeling is normal to a degree, certainly. SH is something we use to cope and if we don't find another way before we give it up... it can be tough. Also I think it isn't just about living without SH/SI but living life. I think that it will always pop up in future situations, but you build strength and courage to shut it out from your mind faster.

It sounds as though your fiance is fantastic, do speak to him about your concerns so you don't have to deal with them on your own or feel as though you have to hide them from him.

We are always here though of course.

Take care hun,
Chloe xx

iduno how ifeel, just lost, abit lonely. im paranoid about lots of things, people staring at me, like they know ive got a problem, like im in the middle of a field with nothin but emptiness all around me and all ive got is the self harm as company, that probably sounds so strange. even stranger is that i used to hear voices 'my shitty committee' and they're not there anymore just my own voice, a lone voice, my own in my head, instead of a group of voices (usually those who bullied me in school) my own voice has drown them out and its good to be in control again but in a strange weird way iwish iwasnt in control and thats what icant get my head around xx

Were you ever involved with any professionals to get where you are at the moment? Do you sitll have the chance to speak to someone to get some clarification about the feelings you are having at the moment?

Chloe x

No ididnt have any help to get where i am i did it by myself with the help of my fiance xx

Would you consider mentioning it to someone to ensure your path of recovery? Is that something that you would like to do or not? xx

No idont wana tell anyone about it, iwouldnt like to, my friends know about it a few of them anyway, and my fiance knows the people that matter know thats all iwant xxx

Can any1 give me any advice or tips for giving up/getting rid of my 'tools'?? xx

well done thats such a great achievement i know how hard it is
as im 9months free now.
The best advice i can give you is to stay busy and be around the people that matter the most to you.
PM me if you ever want to chat
goodluck and take care i believe you can do it

kellie xxx

Hey love - this seems like the next logical step for you darlin... and it's great to hear you considering it.

What makes you feel as though this is the time for you to give up your tools? Something must have triggered those thoughts for you and maybe that is the angle to focus on...?

Chloe xx

Christmas???
 

I dont know if its because its coming up to Christmas but ive been feeling really down lately and idont know why, im kind of struggling, its coming up to 3 maybe 4 months since the last time i self harmed and im really trying im just finding its kind of difficult at the moment which isnt easy at this time of year im so sorry if everyone thinks im rambling and being selfish im sorry just need some advice thats all xxx