Idea for things to do
 

Okay so I finish at 4pm four days week and obviously I am feeling naturally tired from working, travel and general stuff due to pain. I obviously cannot use my computer very well or write with pen due to my hand and my mind isn't so alert after 5pm. So I am wondering what would be a good activity I can do that's quite low cog, requires little or no concentration and not a lot of holding things. I don't want to go somewhere after work so those type of activities don't interest me in the slightest and plus I don't want feel as if I have to do it as already have my university and work to do.

Got any ideas?

What about watching something on the TV or listening to an audiobook?

I think I am going to try I-Doser as that works for me and watching non triggering stuff on YouTube helps. I.e songs on the radio. I have also I also going to start removing some songs from my iPod that may set off emotions and stuff that she likes such as Christian groups skillet who I love and and a few other two tracks that will cause issues. Also I'm going to try and avoid listening to adverts or anything related to the c word. But that will be something I will think about as time progresses.

I I have also started listening to audiobooks about something completely unrelated to my life and that's English literature and fiction books.

Good good, I'm glad you've got some plans for making things easier for yourself :)

I haven't derided I am going to removing triggering things now as I thought Ky twitter account. I am unfollowing a lot things that may set it off to I'm protecting. Useless so I don't have extra pressure and stress. I have also started looking at my YouTube and I have removed the groups that we like together for a while even the music listens to is really positive and uplifting it can set quite emotions and remind of both the happy times we're spending and the sad times that are happening now. I'm also temporarily blocking her friends from Facebook account so I am not reminded of the situation when I am working or studying and I've gradually stopping programmes I love such ambulance on BBC 1 and watching more mindless stuff but too lighthearted as that's my thing generally. I don't really take much much of you've been framed or anything between 4-7pm and I don't really bad eye lid at day time stuff unless it's related to my blog.
I listen to mainly r&b, hip hop tracks and a bit grunge find hip hop really motivating but it al depends on how things happen over the next few months.
Equally I want to stay as positive and happy as I can throughout working and studying as I don't want to **** up with work, **** up with university and end up losing all three as that would just spiralling into severe depression again. As I have never been in this situation before coping with a friends issue and working cominbstion I am overwhelmed internally and I feel as if I a coping with alone.
But I am working at different methods to help me cope as I know that a majority of my usual distractions are quite difficult as times due to joint issues and my mental health isn't Ina good place.

Is this your friend who has cancer who you are referring to here?

Yes that is correct I am in position myself to be worrying too much about her as I am having lots of sttesssful but positive things happening and I am just struggling with issues at work and with the job god knows what I am gonna be like if I am helping her as well. And my mind would continuously conflicted and I don't want my mental health to get any worse or trigger off a psychosis episode with also being my last with university doing dissertation that's also taking a lot of my concentration focus and anxiety/stress.

There's quite a good site called Viddsee, short films from Asia, normally 10-20mins long, it's quite good.

Check online or on TV maybe it will help.