Advice needed quick
 

Hi... I'm new to this so please bare with me.
I guess I should get straight to the point.
I've cut.
Not too deep. Not let anyone know. First time in a year and a half.
The point I need to get to is a question I have.
What next?
In the past I would cut so badly I'd need hospital treatment. And I would drink whiskey until I passed out. I would take to many meds and generally be a mess. Full of guilt and suicidal thoughts. Getting myself into dangerous situations.
Not this time. I really am trying to be better.*
I should probably also say I have bi-polar and the self harming has always been a side symptom of that.
Today I have not drank, not taken too many pills. Tried to deal with things in a calmer way. But I really am struggling now.*
If I don't do all the things I use to. All the habits that came with this feeling, what else is there?
I've watched tv and listened to music but my derealistation is making that difficult. Now night is coming and things are always worse at night. I'm crying. I'm shaking. I'm alone again.
I suppose at its basic level this post is about me panicking. I don't know what I'm should do now. I don't know how to move forward.
Anyway... that's why am here

This was a stupid idea... reaching out to cyber strangers. Of course no one was gonna answer.now I just have to figure out how to delete the damn account

Sometimes threads don't get replies straight away or even for a few days on here as it doesn't get super busy on the forums. But people do care and want to listen.

It's great that you are trying really hard to be better. Try not to beat yourself up about the self harm as you have done really well to go a year and a half without it. Is there anyone you can talk to or be with to help you get through the night?

Hi DeDe,
I would advise you to present to an emergency room if you currently feel unsafe, or contact your mental health support team tomorrow/ Monday to update them. Is there anything that triggered the relapse that you can identify?

You will find advice on deleting your account here.

If you also want to delete the thread you'll find "Thread Tools"at the top right of your original post. There's a drop down menu, select "delete thread", and just like that your thread will be gone :)

I think you can also ask a mod to lock a thread too. But please don't take it personally re: slow replies. I would love an update here on how you are doing. I have lived with a diagnosis of bipolar and recently had a severe relapse of self- harm (SH) which feels like a set back. However, I do have a great team of support even though in the throes of depression they feel ineffective and disjointed.

We may feel like cyber strangers in the beginning, but a lot of us have similar journeys and may be at different stages of recovery. You are cared about and we really want to know how you are doing. In crisis, there is so much noise telling us not to ask for help- but you are more brave, incredibly brave for reaching out.

Yes feel free to delete this thread. But don't let it stop you from thinking you deserve help. You deserve to be happy and feel safe.