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-   -   I feel like im going totally insane (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245996)

WorthlessChickenNugget 29-07-2017 01:32 AM

I feel like im going totally insane
 
I don't know if this is the right place to post this but I'm stressed so it seems fitting enough . Anyways my mind is always trying to kill me. No matter I do , it always finds a way to make me feel guilty or ashamed of mysel or worthless. But right now it's trying to make me feel bad for the most stupid reason and that's the worse part of it becauseems of all the problems people have , I'm here being so stupid. Anyways I recently started watching anime like a year ago and I love it . But recently my mind is saying things to me like " you don't love it . You are fake . You just like it because other people do." or " if you really like it then you should watch it every seconday of the day or you're just a fake " or " I bet you don't even rememeber what happened in epsiode 53 of naruto at exactly 14 minutes and 12 seconds " . Also I recently starting getting into drawing anime and whenever I start to feel proud of a drawing but my mind says " no its stupid and ugly ." It doesn't help that I want to pursue art as a career . I don't know why my mind hates me so much. I could give up drawing and watching anime but I know that even if I do my mind will find something else to make me feel bad about it. Like it ALWAYS DOES . Like before this it was " you only watch attention you don't even have anything to complain about you're selfish ". IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING AND I JUST WANT IT TO STOP BECAUSE IT'S KILLING ME

Entropy 31-07-2017 12:22 PM

Hi,
I am sorry that things are difficult for you right now. It is tricky but given that you are already prone to criticising yourself and making yourself feel bad, try not to beat yourself up even more for doing it. You're not being stupid, and your feelings are valid and important.
It sounds to me like you know that some of these thoughts aren't rational - are you able to challenge them when they occur? Maybe you could write down some positive thoughts that you can remind yourself of when you start to feel bad.
It is great that you want to pursue art as a career, you should definitely keep doing it and if you are able to feel proud of your drawings that would be a brilliant step. Please don't give up things that you like and enjoy!


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