Coping with trauma therapy
 

I'm doing some EMDR and trauma work with P. It can be very intense.

I'm making this thread to ask for some support in coping with doing this work as it leaves me feeling very drained and vulnerable.

I'm trying really hard. I really want to get better.
Things are just feeling quite raw at the moment.

Sorry about all the thread making and deleting. I'll try to stop.

Hugs I'm thinking of you. I'm having trauma therapy too so just letting you know you are not alone x

I don't know what to do. I'm really struggling.

I am also doing trauma therapy right now and boy it's intense. What helps me is to spend the rest of the day doing nothing. Or only what makes me feel good. Come home from therapy and want to do nothing but snuggle the dog until the other half gets home? Guess who's in the bed for a few hours until the other half shows up!

Would it be possible for you to have someone spend the day 'with' you on days you go to therapy? Or can you have things set up at home for an easy day? A food treat, fresh towels if you want to shower, comfy clean house clothes, coffee/tea, etc?

Thank you.

I don't have set days that I have therapy. My therapist is an old OU lecturer that lives a couple of hours away. He comes to visit when he can and we speak via phone and skype.

I'm very emotional at the moment. My moods are all over the place and I'm having quite intense urges to burn myself. I seem to cry over everything and I'm stupidly anxious that I'm making my therapist ill.

Do you want to burn because it will mean you won't make P sick?

Would it help to look up the biology of whatever illness he has? That might prove there can't be a link.

Are there any things like using ice/eating chilli to get the intensity of feeling?
Obviously it's nowhere near as painful but might give a sort of similar sensation.

You're doing really well, here if you need anything x

P just had a cold and it affected his ears and balance. It's not that which scared me.
I'm scared I'm infecting people's brains, causing tumours. I want to burn because it gets further and can reach the poison.

My skin is crawling. I can feel the spiders and bugs under my skin. I want to burn them off.

I've got reusuable ice cubes in the fridge that help with grounding.

I'm struggling with flashbacks and the dissociation has been bad this evening.
I'm seeing rotting faces and blood. The voices have been creeping in the last couple of days. They are scaring me.

Have you told Jocelyn/your support worker you're struggling more?

You usually feel like you are infecting other people when you've gone further in therapy than you have before. It might be a protective mechanism to ensure you pull away from people? It's your head trying to stop you from getting better.

Are you still using olanzapine?

Love you lots and lots, this will pass. It's terrifying but it will <3.