Doing something nice for yourself backfiring
 

So in honour of world mental health day, I decided to be nice to myself and doll myself up a little for work. Makeup on.
Became self-conscious when the first person commented, said it looked lovely, a couple of people looked absolutely stunned. And it snow balled. By the end of the shift I was wanting to hurt myself but hyper. I pretty much convinced myself that they were all giggling at me behind my back.
I also drew a butterfly on my arm for the butterfly thingy, you know where you won't cut till it fades. All it did was trigger me. I've left it, I haven't cut but I want to. Especially since I made a fool of myself with the makeover.
I was wondering if anyone else fails this spectacularly at trying to be nice to themselves?

Annie , I'm sorry it backfired , So totally proud that of you for not cutting . *Huggles* PM anytime? I mean due to time difference the reply may take a while but I will reply .

Well done for trying. I can imagine that most if not all comments would have been positive but self consciousness took over.

It's easy to comment when someone turns up for work more done up than usual. Typical office gossip and people will be wondering what it's for.

It's crap you feel it backfired. Dont let this deter you.

Perhaps it's something to reflect on when the feelings aren't so raw. Maybe something positive can be learned.

Big loves
X

Maybe people weren't used to seeing you wear makeup so we're surprised, but you say someone said you looked lovely. You must have looked lovely. There's nothing wrong with trying out a new look and I bet you looked good. I'm sorry you were made to feel self conscious. I hope this doesn't put you off doing it again when you want to, because make up should be something we do for ourselves, not for other people.

Why do you think you made a fool of yourself?
Doesn't sound like you failed at all.

I wore it a second day. Felt better about it. Wasn't as self concious. Haven't worn any since.
The butterfly didn't last long except for in my mind.
My "weekend" sucked. Found out that there is no hope of the man moving us closer to town. His pipe dreams ate worse than his parents'. He honestly thinks it feasible to travel an hour each way. Refuses to consider a town school for the girl.
My life is in the same pattern for the next year. I just want it all to go away.