So long...how did this happen?
 

I was just drifting off to sleep last night. I was thinking about when I first SI'd. I was about 14 I think, I don't know exactly.
Anyway, that was EIGHT YEARS ago.
How did this happen?
I've recently started again after, like, a three year gap. I have no idea why. I just did, and its taken over my life again; spending my money on first aid stuff, worrying about blood stains, the endless ITCHING of healing cuts. How did this happen to me again? I was ok.
I don't get it and it's all I can think about. No one knows I've started again, not one person.

I often wonder what 'normal' people think about SI. I have no idea.
:crying:

I'm really sorry that you're feeling low and I really do understand how you feel. It was eight years ago that I first SHed too, and I've been scarily close to starting again this week, so your message really struck a chord with me.
Please don't beat yourself up about this, you haven't failed because you SI'd again, think of the three years you were free of it - that is without a doubt worth celebrating. Try to concentrate on the positives instead of the times you have SI'd.
I know what you mean when suddenly it is the centre of your life again and all of a sudden everything you do revelves around it. It's scary but you've shown you are strong enough to beat it once, you can do it again.
Well, now one person does know, and this person cares, so feel free to PM me anytime and I'll do all I can to help.

I have a few friends who know about my SHing, and most of them have been really great about it. I had to explain and try and help them understand the feelings provoking it, but they did understand and they love me just the same. Maybe you could try and confide in a friend? I've been nothing but pleasantly surprised when my friends knew.

Take care and get in touch if you want to talk anytime