I can't go on.
 

I'll go trough with it. I just have to fix one last thing and then...I won't do nothing because I am a coward. I wish I finally had the courage to off myself once and for all.

Im sorry you feel like that. Call a hotline, i have. You'll hurt people you cannot even imagine. Put one foot in front of the other, keep your head up. Nobody else can be as great as you can.

I'm sorry but you don't even know me. What if things just won't change if I'm here or not? Or if they turn out to be better?

I know you in as i WAS you. Things won't change if you don't try. Forgive as i may say the wrong thing but what have you got to lose as YOU already want to throw it away so, you have everything to gain. You would know if their better. What if you're dead and it gets a worse you can't imagine.? Pretty fucking selfish of you to killyourself. Frankly your view you need to be around to even judge how it goes. What if it gets worse CUZ you're gone? Because it will. Nobody can do what you have been great at. And nobody can ever tell you cuz you're fucked and dead. I got graves of people i have yet to visit in atleast five years, if you're alive i garauntee (god damn spell check let me down!) someone will check on you lickity split.

I replied i care. I ain't just reading. I can read ten threads on this site and log off for months at a time. Id like you to message me and get my number and call me before you die, at the least. I feel you owe it to me.

I'm sorry for what I said. I know there ar eplenty of people here that know the place I am into and I want to say that I am sorry. But you know how hard it gets. I just want some hope.