I was told to go to the MIND group but..
 

I was told by a CPN and an OT that my best shot (Basically) at forming a social Life since Hannah Moved away (My Only offline Friend) was to attend the local MIND group.
So I asked if there would be other self injurers there . Apparently so . So I asked if they were allowed to wear short sleeves . Apparently so . So that is a no go , I don't wear short sleeves at home alone , MY Scars trigger me , I cannot do other peoples.

There were no more suggestions on how to make friends.
What do I do? I need to make Friends . With a Woman as I have never gotten on with men despite being one .Preferablly a Woman with Mental health Issues and I've not known anyone not messed up in the head like me for 17ish years , and that was Hannah.
So , Dunno where to turn . . . .

What about going to the group and asking for support around the triggering feelings regarding their scars? You could even ring them back and discuss it over the phone first to see how they can help.

Also volunteering would be a good way to meet people and make friends. If you go to www.do-it.org you can see the opportunities in your area.

Thanks Sherlock , Will reply better later ,am a ball of anxiety atm.

Allowing people to wear short sleeves isn't necessarily the same as people wearing short sleeves. I wonder whether it could be an option once the weather has turned more autumnal and people are less likely to be in short sleeves?

Does the mind place have any other forms of support?

Hi Mark, sorry you find others self harm so triggering, but, you need to get accustomed to seeing others scars etc, as it's clearly isolating you, if my experiences are anything to go by, then perhaps they will give you a little more thought, insight and courage to maybe go and check out Mind.

I've been to Mind in Brecon before they moved and became Mind affiliated, I never saw anybody with any visible injuries, found everyone quite friendly, but in general for me it's too far to go especially since they cut the amount of available buses to and from Brecon, however I've been going to Ystradgynlais Mind, since I was 14, again well before they became Mind affiliated, and also technically under age to attend, now I'm considered part of the furniture.

I love going there, I feel happy, safe and connected, again I've never seen anyone with visible injuries, in the summer I wear a T-shirt, and have some very old scars that are very well healed, that are generally not noticeable, but most of the year I wear hooded tops with long sleeves, as I am conscious of others, and how they may feel.

I for one would wear long sleeves if requested, it only takes a call to the staff, they'd make me aware that another self harmer is going to visit, who feels triggered by others visible injuries, and I'd make a point of wearing long sleeves.

If your anxiety is around this and how you'd cope perhaps giving the co-ordinator of the group a ring may help, I actually still know one of the staff who work in Brecon, as he also works in Ystradgynlais part time, we used to have some clients attend with a CPN or OT, who can help ease anxiety of initial contact.

Obviously over time, I'd gradually try to get others to accept that I like to wear a T-shirt in hot weather.

I think you'd be quite surprised on how little injuries you'd see, I may after my holiday in January, and after a fresh new year, consider going back up to Brecon Mind, maybe I can check out what it's like there now, if I see anyone else with visible harm or not, and report back here to let you know, unless of course you get the courage before then to check it out yourself :) *(hugs)*

Thank You , Ceri , That would be most useful . And For the Reasurance :)

You're welcome Mark, I may try going up there sooner if I get the time, I do have a free day on Tuesday at the moment, so will check out bus availability and Brecon Mind opening times, as they will likely have changed since I used to go, if it is open and I can work out a convenient schedule for getting there and back, I may do so :)

Ceri :- Telephone: (01874) 611529 Email: info@breconmind.org.uk

Opening Hours:

Tuesday – Sunday 12.30 to 4.30pm; including Christmas, New Year’s Day and Easter Day.

From this website :- http://breconmind.org.uk/

I'm gonna phone them on Monday and ask about their timetable, as there is currently nothing published, other than opening hours, and it says to phone them, I'm hoping to get up there for when they open, and spend about an hour, or maybe 2 up there, so long as it's open access, and not scheduled events only, I'll find out when I phone them on Monday, I'm gonna turn it into a bit of an adventure, possibly visiting a few other places whilst I'm up there too :)

I think they are shut on Mondays? That's how I understood the opening hours bit . Tuesday to Sunday excludes Monday? Sorry :/

Ah well I'll just take a ride up there on Tuesday, hopefully someone will be there, I didn't even think about them being closed Monday, there may actually still be someone to answer the phone, but if not I'll take my chances, I'll also ask in Ystrad tomorrow, as I'll be there, if anyone knows their schedule, or if it's open access on Tuesday, I don't know if the guy who works part time in Ystrad who also works in Brecon, will be in Ystrad tomorrow, he's usually only in on a Thursday, but does occasionally come on a Monday, some I may find out what I need to from him :)

Will let you know if I manage to find out, fingers crossed, if not, I'll have to try another time :)

OMD, I called them!

I forgot to ask about sleeves but was fairly reasurred otherwise.

Well I went and roughly found the place , It's sort of tucked away which is good. I think I may have to e-mail them about the scars thing but don't know how to phrase myself . . . .

That's great Mark, emailing them sounds like a good plan :)

perhaps we can help with phrasing it, I'll have a think and post back here :)

Awh! Thank You Ceri ! That's so Kind of you :)

Hey Mark, I thought a lot about how to word you're email, and came up with this,

"Hi, I called you on the phone last week, about the possibility of visiting Mind at sometime, as suggested by my CPN and an OT I met at Ty Illtyd. When I rang you were quite helpful and reassuring, however one thing I forgot to ask was about self harm, and sleeve lengths, and if others are discreet about Self Harm?

I find my own Scars triggering, and am worried about being triggered by seeing the scars of others, I was wondering, if it would be possible, if anyone else who attends who has visible scars, may be asked if they’ll wear long sleeves, or try to keep their scars covered, as it’d make me feel much more comfortable.

I’m aware people can’t be forced to wear long sleeves, but I’d feel a lot better if I at least know they’d try to be discreet, I’d ring in advance to let you know I’m coming, if that helps. Can you please email me back and let me know.

Thank You, Regards

Mark"

Have a look and see what you think, if there is anything you feel you want to change, hopefully others will have a look too and see if it's ok, and if they feel there's anything that could be changed, or added, as I think it'd be great to know that others feel it'd be ok, and they don't think there's anything in there that shouldn't be.

Hope you're ok, and that this helps to at least get you confident enough to go check out Mind, especially as you're confident about it being out of the way a little :)

That's Great Ceri, Thank You so much :) I Have Kirstie Morgan there on next Wednesday . . . . Really Anxious.

I'm sure you'll be fine Mark, Kirstie is really not that scary, I'm sure she'll try her best to try to alleviate you're feelings of anxiety, and Mind will likely be much easier than you expect, and before you know it, you'll be like me with Ystrad Mind, part of the furniture haha :)

My life would be so much worse if Mind didn't exist, they've helped me through so many struggles, and are like a group of extended family and best friends, who really care and always try to be there for me as much as they possibly can, they often provide me with good distractions, it's one of my favourite places to be :)

I go to a mind group and its helped me a lot. It really gets me out of the house and although I don't talk much in there I am getting to know the people there.