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Increased dosage and lack of creativity
I have bipolar.
I started with a new psychiatrist, he doubled my dose of Latuda up to 120 mg and increased my Lamictal to 500. Aside from that I'm also on 300 mg Wellbutrin, 15 mg Deplin, 1.5 mg Klonipin, and 400 mg Zongran. There's something strange since he increased the dosages though. I'm bored. I've never been bored, but now I'm bored all the time. Not depressed or apathetic, just bored. I'm an artist and I can't make work because there's not motivation or inspiration. I have energy to do things, but I just feel restless and bored with no inspiration to do my work. I'm a professional artist and I can't create. Am I over medicated? Everyone keeps telling me I'm so "stable" right now and doing so well. Is this just being stable? If it is I'd rather be under medicated and deal with depression and mania than this. |
Medication is really a fair bit of trial and error. And at the end of the day its what works best for you. If you're unhappy then something needs to shift and the best person to discuss this with is your psychiatrist.
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Best talk to your psychiatrist as we cannot tell you what exactly to take. We can only share experiences impartially.
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I was a writer. Loved creating new worlds. High marks in creative writing.
Then I got ill. Imagination took over. Horrible situations from lack of impulse control. Imaginary "friends" gave me a coping mechanism to deal with the trauma, one that eventually brought me to RYL. Meds helped me survive. But they may have contributed to the loss of my writing. Or my illness did. When reality bends strangely there's no need to create new ones. I struggle now with putting pen to paper. Even after a six year break of relative stability and med free coping I struggled. Perhaps I've changed and fit better in reality now. Maybe it was a pre- warning of the instability in my psyche, my need to create worlds to escape to. An early coping mechanism. I've promised myself when I figure out how to achieve this illusive concept of free time I will attempt to create again. I'm just to exhausted from fighting my unwell self to even try right now, especially when I need allotted strength to function as an adult, a mother, a partner and a productive member of society, as well as study. But without meds, and sacrificing some of my rampant imagination to them I would not be alive. Meds are a balancing act. And a wild experiment with psychotropics. Perhaps there is a better combination but that's better left to psychiatrists to examine. You sought or were forced to accept help for a reason. Survival. You cannot paint if you are dead. Be honest with your treatment provider. Perhaps they can help with this issue too. But not if they don't know about it. |
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