RYL Forums - Ranting how i actually feel for once, only way i can

Everyday is a struggle, and i feel like i'm to tired to keep trying, i'm tired of fighting just to get through each day.
He took all my confidence, self esteem and personality away from me and i'm not sure how to ever get that back again.
I thought i could trust him, he was my friend and i can't even understand why he did it. why would he do it?
I feel like nobody understands or really wants to hear how i feel. I burden everyone i do care about with my problems constantly.
I feel like the stupidest person in the world for trusting a good friend and now knowing it was all completely fake just to get what he wanted and when i didn't give him that he just took it.
People say to be strong and i'm stronger than i think i am, but i'm not don't they see how badly i'm falling apart?
I wish i saw what they did.
It's gonna be with me forever and there's no running from it.
I know everyone says it gets better with time, and it sounds stupid and selfish but i need it to be ok now.
I don't know how to keep getting through each day, i don't know how to hold onto all the good and let go of the bad.
I don't have many friends to cheer me up, i don't have a lot of money to go out and take my mind off stuff, and i don't want to work where me and him once worked together with the worst managers in the world that made this whole situation worse for me when i was at my most vulnerable.
I need my entire life to change quickly and it won't happen just like that.
I feel very alone in all this, because no one around me truelly understands how i must feel...