Isolating myself and now I've lost all friends and support around me!
 

Hi,

For a while now I've isolated myself and pushed lots of people away to try and focus on my own issues. I did it so I wouldn't cause distress to others but I now can see that I have burnt all bridges with the people who mean the most to me. Since my grandad passed away in July and after being discharged from hospital off of section a little while later I have struggled to engage with all the people that have supported me. My mental health specifically my eating disorder is declining and it has meant that I have isolated myself so much I haven't got anyone around. It's my own fault by I didn't see it coming until now which is too late!! Any suggestions, I think I need to leave and start a fresh somewhere else

Would you consider attempting to reconnect with people? People can be very understanding and willing to rebuild the friendship if it did deteriorate a bit from you pushing them away.

How about texting one of the people who you've lost touch with and apologise for being a bit distant and asking if they'd like to meet up to catch up?

Thanks for the reply!

I am trying to build relationships back with people but I don't want to push it too far. I really don't know what to do to change this but I'm going to try my best. My mental health hasn't helped the isolation tbh but that is not an excuse. We will see I guess.

I stopped talking to many friends for a good, I'd say perhaps 2ish years and, when I reached out and re-connected, they treated me as if I had never been away. They didn't need a lot of explanations either, though if you felt you wanted to explain you could, initially or at a later point once you'd have time to re-acquaint. I say that and not re-build because building sounds a bit daunting and exhausting when in fact many friends may be likely to just spark off from where you left off. Especially given it's only since July. Do they know you were in hospital & about your Grandad? That information alone would give them a picture that they may not even need any more explanation to be able to empathise that you weren't perhaps in the best place at the time mentally. If some people don't get back to you it may not be that that's in response to you feeling you pushed them away, it might be that they're doing a bit of their own pushing away right now so please don't let that dishearten you if that happens once nor stop it from letting you reconnect with others. I would say it's not too late at all.

Do you have any help or things in place to try to help with the ED at the moment?

Like said, maybe messaging and just chatting via the internet/text and then suggest a catch up in person.

Trying your best is the best you can do :)

When I am tempted to isolate and become recluse like I try to have even just a 1 minute conversation with the cashier at the shop or someone sitting waiting at the bus stop- tiny tiny connection with another human that, when I get a positive response (and most people will smile and nod encouragingly) makes me confident to reconnect with those that know me in real life such as friends (via something as simple as a one line facebook message)

It's awesome you're trying to reconnect and that you want to, having seen that MH is costing you that at the moment. Sounds like you're acting to intervene before things get worse, and that is great

Thanks for the sweet reply, I am currently getting therapy for my ED but I'm scared that if it doesn't work then they might just discharge me which scares me a lot as I would love nothing better than to get rid of it. The friends that I've isolated myself from do know about my grandad and the fact that I was sectioned due to my ED. the guilt I tearing me apart and yeah this is the first time I have noticed that I do things without noticing it myself.