Withdrawing away from people
 

I've noticed that I have started withdrawing away from people.

I'm eating lunch earlier to avoid "peak" time in the lunch room. I am not signing in to facebook or skype so people can't see me on there and speak to me and doing other similar things that are warning signs that I'm retreating into my own world which is not great for my mental health.

I could use some support and advice in not avoiding the world.

I can understand this very much. Is there a person you trust who can help take you out of your own world, even if it's just small steps like arranging to have coffee or chat on Skype?

Retreating can feel like a safe way of coping, and I'm very guilty of it myself, but you say it's not good for your mental health. Keep remembering that and that pushing yourself to be around people will be beneficial even if it is difficult.

Would scheduling a half hour to be social work for you? Or inviting someone over to do their own thing in your home while you do something else (you do homework separately, someone watches tv while the other does something else, etc) be all right with you?

Sometimes low impact socializing can help a lot.

I think it is missing the low impact socialising that is making this worse. The people I am friends with at work have been on annual leave over the last couple of weeks and they are good at getting me out of my shell and just generally being there.

I went down for a coffee earlier when I knew others were going to be in the coffee room and went down for lunch a little before the peak time so I was still eating when everyone else came down but I still got a bit of quiet time. It wasn't too bad but I'm now back at my desk and feeling so lonely. Everything is overwhelming.

Well done on going for coffee and lunch. Do you think your friends could help when they come back from leave?

Also, keep talking here. That's the great thing about this website, it can make us feel less alone.

I'm doing this too, so I understand. It sounded like you have done well getting some social time but also your own time at lunch before they arrive. Can you make compromises like this? I think being social is important, as you have recognised here, but if you're overwhelmed looking out for yourself is very important too.

If you're at your desk feeling lonely is there any sort of social interaction you have that feels safe? For me I text some people because you can reply when you are up to it.

xx

I've been emailing my sister and messaging one of my work friends which has helped today.

This morning I was working in a different building which has more people wandering around so a few people said "Hi" etc which was nice and made me feel more connected to the world even if it didn't involve any conversations etc.

I have set aside some time this afternoon to look at somethings which are overwhelming me so hopefully they will become more manageable when I realise they aren't as scary as I am making out.

I'm trying to put in some time to look after myself, I can feel myself getting run down and I really can't afford to get ill so I can rationalise it as time well spent. (just about!)

I admire your approach to this. Very brave and productive and I feel like it is helpful to me too, and probably many others here, so thank you for sharing. I hope these steps you're putting in place will help. It sounds like you are a well liked person with people willing to help and enjoy your company.

Oh thank you that means a lot.

I'm glad that you're able to engage more with people. Good luck!

How are you doing?

I agree with Lorraine your approach is admirable. I agree with you time to look after yourself is so important, never wasted. Hope it went well x

I ended up getting sick, so I have had a couple of quiet days looking after myself which has been a step forward.

Unfortunately it has made me more antisocial. I did manage to go out with a friend one evening which was nice. There was a point where I almost called it a night early when there was a natural lull but I did agree to go somewhere else and continue the evening which I felt proud of myself for.

I feel a bit like I am back at square 1 to be honest and it is hard to see the positives. Still not feeling great which isn't helping. One of my work friends is back from annual leave tomorrow so hopefully that will help.

I understand feeling that way, but I don't think it sounds like you're back to square one. I think you're doing really well. It's hard to see the positives but it's great that you've managed to list some of them here.

I do hope that your work friend being back does help a bit. Love <3