questioning my religion?
 

i used to be wiccan, but now i'm not so sure of anything after i found a place for tolerant christians called the gay christian network. i've got a bible and i've tried reading it but the passages that aren't relevant to my life (relevance means inspirational passages such as philippians 4:13) just seem like gibberish. the pastor's preahcing also seems like gibberish.
i'm always questioning my religion, it's a symptom of borderline personality disorder, and i've switched back and forth from christianity to wicca and back for about five years. any advice?

Religion can be a difficult one. I think "religion" here is the issue. There's a lot of pomp and stuff that can come with religion that can completely obscure what a faith is about.


I'm afraid I don't know much about Wicca, but did you find that the beliefs you held with it were helpful to you? Did you really believe in the things you were reading/doing/seeing/hearing to do with the faith? Did you connect with others who had similar beliefs? One of the wonderful things about having a faith is the sense of community it can bring.


I know a bit more about Christianity, as I am a Christian myself. I won't try and sway you one way or the other, because faith and personal beliefs are very individual and what's right for me might not necessarily be right for you. I will share my experience though, if that's OK.


I think sometimes you need to visit a few different churches before you can settle on one. Though you may struggle to understand or relate to one pastor/vicar/priest, another you may find that you connect with. It took me a year or so to find a church that I felt comfortable in. Also, there are lots of different branches of Christianity, and beliefs and acceptance and things can vary between each one. So look around, if you decide that a life following Jesus is what you are called to.


The Bible is a great book, but if you're just beginning, it can be difficult to get your head around. Have you tried reading a different translation? There are quite a few different English translations of the Bible and some of them are easier to understand than others. I find something called the NLT the easiest to get on with, but it is another thing that is very personal. If you're struggling with things you don't connect with, try and do a search for things you do connect with. If you google "bible verses and X" (X being a specific feeling or situation) there will often be a whole raft of things that you can relate to/will speak to you. It's a good way to start out - the Bible is big and that can be quite overwhelming to start with.


I don't know if switching faiths is related to BPD. A lot of people who don't have the diagnosis struggle with knowing what their beliefs are though, so even if it is your diagnosis contributing to how you feel, you're not alone.

thanks!

You are your own God. By that I mean you're part of the universe and have Gods power inside of you. You are equal to God. Follow your own intuition and realise that God isn't a power higher than you. Many religions are designed in such a way that they preach fear in order to control their followers. Fear is ingrained in many religions which is why they give you rules and consequences for your actions. There is no hell or Satan. These were created by the church. Act and follow what seems right to you and know that your heart will keep you on the path.