I don't know where to start..
 

I feel like my life is a mess and I realize it's mostly my own fault. But at this point, I don't see myself ever fixing it either. It feels like I'm too far in and there's no getting out.

I guess one of the biggest issues in my life right now is loneliness. I'm a 25 year old guy, never had a girlfriend, never even been kissed, never been on a date. I figure it's more of a personality issue than anything else, I don't know. There's been one girl who I've hung out with a few different times but never as anything more than a friend. I have asked her out, and a few other girls before, but I never get a date. I doubt it's because of looks, I'm six foot, thin build but not too scrawny looking. I've had girls tell me I'm cute and what not - not a lot, but now and again. So I figure at least I've got that - though it does me no good.

Personality wise, I feel like I'm a mess. I'm a bit different than most people around my area. I'm from a small town in the midwest of the U.S. and everyone acts like the same person here - or at least they all fit into a certain "group". I don't have that at all. I don't feel like I fit in with anyone, anywhere. I have very few friends who I've been growing tired of anyway. We always do the same boring things and they're all focused on their gf's, and jobs and that kinda stuff. Where as all I'm trying to do is find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I have a few family members I spend time with, or at least used to, as they have all distanced themselves as well. But I've never been one to be clingy, if someone leaves my life so be it, I move on.

I don't really feel comfortable asking a girl out. For one, I don't know anyone. The only girls I even talk to are my buddies girlfriends. I've tried to have them set me up before but they just tell me they don't know anyone, or if they do they say they wouldn't be a good match for me. Which is probably true, so whatever. But I don't want kids at any point in my life. I don't understand why anyone would want kids.. I don't really feel like I'm mentally stable enough to ask a girl out. Most of the time I just want to pack up my things and hit the road and leave everything I know behind and go waste away out in the middle of nowhere.

I live alone, hate my job, have literally no interest in anything as far as a career goes.. All my hobbies are basically things you do by yourself. I drum, but only by myself at home. Won't join a band - I hate parties and crowds. I don't drink, don't do drugs. I run by myself. Workout once in awhile. Hike in the woods by myself. Drive around aimlessly by myself. Started riding a motorcycle this year, that's been ok, but I only like to do that by myself as well. I like art (I sculpt mostly) but I can't find the ambition to do it anymore. It just feels like a pointless waste of my time. And then I spend a lot of time playing video games, which also feels like a huge waste of time, but it requires no effort and there's nothing else to do, so that's why I end up doing it.

I just don't like to do things everyone else does I guess. I don't like sports, I listen to only a few different bands - can't stand most music. I don't like any of the social media stuff like facebook and all that. I'm a private person I guess, I don't care for having my life posted all over the internet, and I really don't care what everyone else is doing. I wear the same outfit everyday, so people probably find that weird.

Just feels like everything is so pointless. I watch movies and tv for a bit, but after awhile it all starts to feel like the same, boring thing. I try to do something new and it usually lasts a week at most, and then I stop doing it because I don't like it.

Not into religion either, or politics, or anything with groups of people really. About the only time I actually feel at peace with the world is when I'm out in the woods by myself, and there's no one around. People just drive me nuts, I don't understand how everyone is ok with the preset life.. It's like either you have to get married and have kids, or you focus on a career. And it all revolves around other people. And I just don't want any of that. I don't care about having money, or nice things, or a family. I don't even know what I care about anymore.

I feel like I'm only happy when I'm alone, and most of the time I'm alone anyway, yet I still feel unhappy because I'm lonely. It's like, during an entire week, I feel good for an hour here or there, and the rest of the time I'm either just uncaring about everything or flat out miserable. But I hold on for those few hours I guess, when I get to imagine that I'm on another freaking planet.

So I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. I've asked advice from places online before and I always get the same responses, which is fine, I don't really expect anyone to have an answer.. but nothing ever works. They tell me to try online dating, or exercise, or see a therapist or get a hobby.. But I don't like the idea of online dating, I already exercise.. Therapists are just going to try to put me on medication which I will not take, I don't trust the stuff. And hobbies I have, they just don't involve other people. I have no clue what to do at this point. I am so freaking lost.

Hi,

I'm really sorry you are feeling so lonely. I know what it's like and it's a horrible feeling. I don't think there's a quick fix to this.

It's okay to need 'alone time'. I do it too and I enjoy it. It becomes a problem when you do almost everything on your own and then meeting people and seeing friends becomes scary. It's easier on your own, especially if you are shy, but easier does not always = better!

I would say try and take small steps. Give yourself a weekly challenge: one thing you will do with someone else/other people. You like walking? Invite a friend or a group of friends. The next week, ask someone you like to come for a drive with you and get a coffee. See how it goes. You don't need to totally push yourself, but I imagine you will have to a bit.

At the end of the day, it's your choice: stay 'safe' and feel like this, or challenge yourself and hopefully feel a little less lonely.

Hope that helps. Sorry I couldn't be more useful.

Problem is, the few friends I have I already see once every week or two. We're just not very close friends. And we don't really do much except sit around and b.s. - they're not really the type of people up for walking..
And I don't drink coffee.

I Can relate to this. Maybe you could get closer to the friends you already see, if meeting new People is hard for you. You could try to bring these feelings up With Them? They might feel the same way.
You could bring it up slowly, just by saying something like "sometimes i feel like i miss something...something that gives a little more meaning or something"
Cause i Think alot of people Can relate to that.

There is nothing Wrong With longing for more depth in your life.
I know how hard it Can be to open up But i have learned that it gives alot to friendships to be able to do so. It does bring people closer together.
i Think your loss of interest in other activities might have root in loneliness.
We all need to feel like we have somebody.
If we dont, nothing Can replace it.