schizoaffective - bipolar
 

I'm diagnosed with this but have neither.
Maybe. Very maybe. I have mood swings but I'm not schizophrenic or bipolar.
I don't get mania.
I don't get depressed.
I don't get psychotic.
I'm fine.
It's normal to feel like life isn't worth living.

What the hell is this diagnosis? Why do I have it?
I'm totally fine.
.
Why does everyone think my thoughts are strange?
Do you guys thing that?

You mentioned in your RV that everyone hears voices- is this thought contributing to the idea that you don't have psychosis and this is just normal? I can honestly tell you that I've never heard voices so your assertion there is definitely not true!

I don't think it's normal to feel like life is not worth living, although I can see how that might feel more normal than it is if you've struggled with these thoughts for a while and spend a lot of time with other people with depression who feel the same!

In terms of why you have this diagnosis, it might be better to ask your team that, as no one here knows the exact details of your symptoms and the reasons behind your diagnosis.

If you are fine at the moment (though I wouldn't say you are, if you are feeling like life is not worth living), then great! Maybe your treatment is working. Just like people with diabetes can feel fine when their diet and insulin are well-managed, they still have diabetes, it's just being treated!

I agree with Jenna. I've never heard voices in my life or had any beliefs others would consider psychotic- like believing I was getting messages through the TV or that the government was poisoning me. Those types of thoughts are considered to be delusions which forms part of psychosis.

From your R/V it does seem like you may be quite unwell right now, and a common thing in psychosis is to not believe that you are unwell, rather that it's all real.

I would encourage you to talk to your team and ask them why you have been given the diagnosis, and how you can access some support.

I can't talk to my team. They will just want me on a higher dose of olanzapine and I already take too much.
Or worse they'll put me back on lithium!!!
I don't trust my team.
I'm thinking of discharging myself next time I see them.

I have a job now and I'm doing good.
I just want this label taken away.

Am I correct in thinking that you are a peer support worker? What would you tell a service user in your position?

I can see from a few of your posts about this that the labels are really bothering you. Is there a reason for that? I know it's not pleasant but you have had these symptoms that correlate to the diagnosis, so having them on your file can help you get the correct treatment.

Please, no matter how much you disagree with the terms do not discharge yourself from services. Yes you have a job now but your mental health still needs taking care of, especially as it was only recently you went to hospital and got seen by home treatment (which were really good moves).

You can manage all of these things you go through but at this point you'll still need some help. Stick with it, you worked hard for this job and it would be a shame for that to be lost because things got difficult and you had no support.

Where I work we don't mention diagnosis or medication. We use a recovery/wellness model not medical model.
I am not allowed to talk about labels in my role.

Ah, I see. But if service user told you they felt life was not worth living would you tell them that everyone thinks that?