Am I going crazy?
 

It's been a crazy year for me fell for a girl I'm not really supposed to be in love with :/ n we both have felt the same way for a long time it's just we are litterly not supposed to be together :(

I've had problems with anxiety for a long time now n or some reason I wake up every night with my hear poundin and my hands n face are numb n I freak out thinking she's screwing around when she's not 😪 just I've had every ex gf cheat n leave me ... So am I crazy for waking up like thins or am I just dumb for being in a relationship that's not supposed to exist?

I think your reactions show you care about her. Why are you 'iterally not suposed to be together'? What proof do you have, what reasons?

It sounds to me like your anxities have latched o to your insecurities which may well be based around your own self worth over her behaviours. If you trust her you'll gradually have to learn that she loves you too and that this means she wont cheat and leave which, granted, is hard when thats your past experience.

So no you aren't dumb sweetheart. Take care.

N yes I know that it's frowned a pond but I can't help how I feel neather can she...

Well its not illegal. And its up to you how you approach that. I personally wont comment on it.

The thing is if you don't let go of the past then you might loose her because of your inability to do so. know thats not particularly helpful but think how you'd feel if you were questioned about your actions and your other half didnt trust you completely.

All you have is now. That's all there will ever be. If it feels right then continue and don't worry about the future. Accept what is going on now. You'll always have 3 options for a situation. You either accept it, change it or remove yourself. Don't let the past steal or define yourself or your joy and stop thinking you're not meant to be together. You're here with each other for a reason.