Everyone's joke..
 

I have never been on a forum before.

I was looking for places to talk to people and this page stuck out. I don't know what I looking for or if I am just typing this so someone can read my story.

For years I have been the butt of many jokes about my gender. People asking to my face or behind my back if I am a boy or a girl. It's also been an on going joke that I am transgender. I am a heterosexual male who cannot grow a beard or mustache to save my life. But at the same time neither can my Dad. I chalk that up to bad genes in the pool lol. Either way it sucks and recently it's sucked more than usual.

Today I was called out by some Lady I have never met before in my life. She saw me in a photo on a friends page and commented "is that a boy or girl'? "I think I know that he/she".... I saw that post and for the first time in a long time I wanted to crawl under a rock...that photo was tagged so many times I think the Pope has it now with that comment under it. I felt absolutely humiliated. I have never met this Lady in my life and she made me feel like I was some kind of circus freak....normally I just blow stuff off and move on from the ridiculousness of it all. I cant change what I look like. I am short with a husky build. I don't know why that comment hit as hard as it did but that Lady totally made me feel like crap all day. I will never understand peoples needs to be hateful and have no regard or take accountability for things they say. Sure social media is all around us but really!?? why would you degrade another person in front of hundreds of people?

I have had social anxiety over this in the past and over came it into my adult years. I don't want to go back to avoiding people.

I'm really sorry to hear that people are treating you so cruelly. I don't know why some people are so hung up on gender and appearance and it's sad. Many men can't or don't grow facial hair, so you're not alone in that.

Do you have anyone to talk to about this?

How did you over come your social anxiety? Do you think you can use some of the same coping strategies you came up with before?

I don't. Don't have a strong Family network and at this moment I am not sure if I even have a strong friends network. It seems when this happens within a circle of friends I become the black sheep. My normal reactions have been to move on and make new friends. My regiment in the past was to find distractions (healthy ones) to over come any social anxiety. I will put myself in situations where I am forced to talk to others I'll try small groups at first to build confidence. The draw back is however is if I feel like everyone is talking about me I retract like a turtle into my shell. It's a bummer because I am an outgoing person. I guess I am just looking for real friendships....lol now I am just rambling.

The one person who I could talk to was my ex-girlfriend we have been broken up now for almost a year but we were able to maintain a friendship. After yesterday's mishap I am almost certain that's done because I think it embarrassed her since all her friends and Family saw the post. It's have a not so nice domino effect.

Hey, welcome to the site, I hope you find it helpful to be here. First post is probably the hardest to make, so at least you've done that now!

I'm sorry you feel like a joke to everyone, that's not a nice feeling. As for that particular lady, she should mind her own business, you said you don't even know her, and she did that? So rude. You should ask back is she a b***h or a c**t, well you're probably too nice to do that, I wouldn't be lol. I understand how too how one certain comment or remark can hurt like that, even if we're "used" to hearing whatever it is, maybe if we feel a little more vulnerable at that time, I don't know really but, well I wish I could say don't let her get to you, but it's n4ot that easy.

As you said, you can't help how you look. But people can help being p***ks. Sorry for all the colourful language.

I don't know if it this will help at all, probably not, but I happen to be crazy about a guy who everyone always said looked like a girl. Me and millions are crazy about him (he's famous) even though he "looks like a girl" and he was bullied all day every day in school for it but still went and lived, well is living his dream, so I know, well I don't know but I can imagine, sorry I'm not so great with words right now, I'm just trying to say that you don't have to let it hold you back, if you're afraid it will. Just be yourself, the people who matter will love you regardless of what some idiots might say.

Sorry if I'm not helping or just making things worse, as you can see you're not the only one rambling here, I don't have any real friendships but I hope you will find some, maybe even here on Ryl. Do you still use some of those distractions? If you want to talk about them I'd love to hear.

Welcome again to the site, and take care ok.

lol no worries with the colorful language. I am actually more accustom to talking that way. However, I read the rules and figured I didn't want to get kicked out the first day!!

Trust me I wanted to unload on that Lady but restrained only because I know it would not have done any good. The whole thing caught me off guard! I have engaged the old distractions. Going out of my way to say hello to random people, smile at strangers. Hold a more than 3 sec conversation with the cashier at the grocery store. What works for me is being able to make other people I don't necessarily know laugh or smile.

I go to the gym a lot. Exercising for me takes the edge off and allows me to pick and choose the days events to work out of my system. Nothing worse than going to bed analyzing every single moment of the day.

I too don't have that many real friendships. I moved around a lot growing up and think at some point I found it easier to not get close to people. So I guess you could call me a "floater" Never stayed with one set group of people ( I prefer variety ) much rather have an eclectic group of friends from all different back grounds.

I have to say writing that first post was foreign to me. I 100% have never done that before. Yet I feel much better that I did! knowing that someone else took the time to read my post and respond is awesome! It's reminds me that there are people who care even if they are not right in front of you! So big thank you to both you and Night Circus for responding!

Now who is this famous person you speak of?? LOL Hope you guys have an Awesome day wherever you might be! And, really thanks again for taking the time to respond. :)

Well, I can honestly say you're a better person than I am!!

I'm glad it helped to write it out and have someone read and respond, Night Circus is a great person too, I can tell you that.

I grew up in one place but always floated around friends or groups of friends too. Maybe they got fed up of me, I don't know.

I wish I had something more helpful to say, not too great right now either, just life you know.

I may just happen to have a pic of "my" famous guy on my tablet, but I have to upload and link. I have an old one I posted elsewhere earlier where I guess you'll see what I mean. I never really looked at him and thought "he looks like a girl" I just looked at him and thought "he looks gorgeous!" I'll be right back and post...

Hey hey, here's my lovely guy, he's the singer of a German band called Tokio Hotel, his name is Bill, and don't worry, if you stay on this site you'll probably see me talk about him a lot. Too much, but he makes me happy! I have a photo from when I met him a few months ago, but I can't post that cos I'm repulsive. But this is him a few years ago.

GET OUT!!! I have listened to this band before. They totally rock! And no I would never look at him as a girl only cuz I already know who he is. That's cool we share a like in music. And hey, no one is ever repulsive in my book!!!! I hope all is well with you? I know how life has a way of bouncing us all over the place. If you care to share I have an open ear :) or well...two open eyes since I would be reading..... lol :)

High five, I love him, he's so lovely, I want to eat him...wait what? Lol I always go too far, I'm just a bit crazily obsessed.

Anyway, how are you doing/feeling now? I'm glad posting here helped a little. And yeah I'm usually about if you ever want to talk too.

I think I'll read now too, another thing we have in common, I'm a total book worm!!

lol we have to be obsessed with something. I am doing much better! plus it's Friday! What type of books are you into?

All of them! I actually own 385 books waiting to be read.

Sorry for the delay. Had some kind of stomach bug the last few days. WOW 385 books! That's amazing! Now I at lest know who to ask for book reviews!

That's ok, I hope you're feeling a little better now.

I bought more books yesterday lol!

I want to pm you my photo with Tokio Hotel! Just ignore how bad I'm sure I look. I love them so much!