Not hanging out with my friends?
 

Hello all :)

I'm having some friend problems that I feel bad about, but am not sure entirely how to fix.

I've made new friends over time, but my main 'core' group of friends are the same ones I have had throughout high school and college. They are really awesome, but lately have been contacting me to hang out with them and I tend to have to turn them down, which makes me feel just awful.

I want to hang out with them, and honestly I feel left out when I don't. But it's not always easy.

I work and go to school, so my free time is limited. It's summer right now, so I'm working 40 hours a week (more right now because we are in our busy season). In a month, I'll be working about 35 hours and going to a class daily, so it works out about the same. My friends work too, but only half days so they not only have more time to see each other, but they are not nearly as tired as I am. They call me and ask me if I want to go out on Wednesday or Thursday nights and it sounds like a lot of fun, but I have work early the next morning and it's impossible so I turn them down.

On top of that, I have very low self esteem right now. I go to work and school because I have to, and it takes everything out of me. The rest of the time, it's hard to motivate myself to do anything.

My friends are all pretty and sociable, and spend a lot of time with other friends or going out. A few have boyfriends, others have casual relationships. But because my self esteem is so low, I find it very hard to flirt/interact with others that I don't know so when they're talking about dates and guy troubles I'm just awkwardly quiet because I just don't relate on that level.

I have one friend who likes to do some of the same things I do (hike, kayak, camp, etc.) but because I'm so down right now I am not even finding those things fun.

I'm terrified that I'm ruining perfectly good friendships, but then I wonder why they are friends with me in the first place. And then I just feel sad.

This is probably more a rant/venting than anything else. I just think I needed to get it out.

Sorry to hear about this situation and I hope that you can seek support with your depression and that you'll be feeling more up for socialising and your hobbies.

In the meantime next time they ask you to do something that sounds like fun and you can't make it, could you maybe suggest a day that you are free and see if they want to meet up then?