Please will someone help me with my sever case of ongoing love?
 

Hi everyone, I'm a 20-year-old male and have very little luck in the relationship department. In fact, I've never even had one date. I'm sorry this may be a bit of a long post as it covers a year of my life.

I fell in love with a girl about 8 months ago now. We were both doing apprenticeships and met for this ICT course we both had to do. I thought that she was outstandingly beautiful and so was surprised when she struck up a conversation with me. I was even more surprised when we seemed to get on really well! We had a lovely chat and I got to know her quite well. We had another lesson together in 2 weeks time and so all I could think about was her when it was leading up to the day.

Unfortunately we didn't get to talk during the lesson, as it was an exam. However, I waited outside for her to finish and summed up the courage to ask her if she wanted a lift back into town. She accepted and we had a lovely chat in the car. I was going to ask her for her number but it was cut dead when she said that she could just get out at the traffic lights.

I can't really explain it, but she felt like the one. I found an email for her and asked if she'd be interested in keeping in contact as we got on so well. She said that I'm a great person and she'd love to keep in touch, however she'd only be interested in a friendship as she's in a relationship. This did crush me a little, however I was so madly in love that I didn't care. She gave me her Facebook thingy and email and we talked and talked for months on end. She was all I thought about for about four months and wed talk at least three/four times a week. I kept hinting about meeting up, but she always pushed that thought away. It became clear that she was in a happy relationship and wasnt budging! So I sort of learnt to let her go and talked to her less and less.

However, about three weeks ago I struck up a conversation with her, asking how shes getting on and she mentioned that shes split up with her boyf. Were still getting on well and I really want to ask her out! I dont know if shes hinting, I was a bit tipsy yesterday and talked to her saying whenever I think of Poland I think of you! (Shes Polish) and she replied Aaaw with a heart! Shes probably not interested in me at all (shes completely stunning and Im completely not!) but Id love to ask her out.

Just over a month ago she messaged me asking to go round hers for a drink. It was like a dream coming true! All I’ve ever wanted is to see her again, but she’s so beautiful and I’m really not. We do seem to get on really well though.

Anyway I couldn’t go out that night unfortunately so I replied saying sorry can’t do tonight, how about next week? Trying to play it cool a few days have passed and she hasn’t replied. I’m concerned that I’ve missed my opportunity. Perhaps she was pissed when she asked me out for a drink? Why would someone as beautiful as her show interest in me?

Just a few days ago I managed to say to her, "You know we should definitely meet up because we met about this time last year!" with my heart beating fast she said "We should. That's a great idea." I was over the moon, but it wasn't like she was going to say "No." because she's not that type of person. She did say that she's always busy though.

Now it's been about a week and we've not had a proper talk since. I just don't know what to say to ask her out. Every day I think to myself "Right, today I'm going to ask her if she's free this Friday" but when it comes to it I never do. I think I'm just scared of her always saying "Sorry I'm busy." and never meeting. This is such a big deal for me because I'm actually in love with her. I might've only met her in person twice, but she's all I've been thinking about for almost one year now. She always rejected my moves at the beginning because she had a boyfriend, but now she's split up with him and seems fairly interested in me. I think. I hope!

Some advice from the more experienced amongst you would be greatly appreciated... Or even inexperienced, I just need some advice!

Go for it!
If you don't give this a go you definitely won't have a relationship with her, whereas if you do there's at least a chance that thing might work out. Since she's said that she's often busy, maybe you could message her and ask her if she's free 'anytime next week' or something, and there's a greater chance she'll be free on one of those days than if you just suggest one particular day.

Just remember though, you may have been thinking about her in a romantic way for a year, but she almost certainly hasn't, since she has been in a relationship with someone. If she does turn out to be interested in pursuing a romantic relationship just bear that in mind and try to take things slow!

All the best!

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

That's a quote I really like and right now you're stuck in a stuck in a state of not knowing which must be unpleasant. The risk you're running now is that you'll never discover how you both feel about each other so you might miss out on happiness so weigh the risk of never knowing with the risk to find out.
Also Jenna's signature has some good advice!

Good luck with whatever you decide :)

Let us know how you get on?

I would say enjoy the friendship you have with her so far and good luck in it becoming something more!! If it helps you have 100% more chance than I do with the guy I love!

I hope either you can be happy just being friends if that's all she wants, or even better, something will happen. Good luck and let us know!

Hi everyone! Thank you all for your kind messages, I've posted about my problem on other forums, but you guys are definitely the nicest :)

OK, so I did finally text her "are you free next Saturday?" she said "why what's wrong?" and I said "I thought we could have a natter over some drinks. Only if you want to though I don't want to force you into anything." Then she replied with a smiley face and said "I'll let you know I might be visiting my parents next weekend." then I said "me and my sister normally go out you see but she's ditched me this week." then she said "She should come with us!" I said "Yeah let's party together!"

That's the last I've heard. Alarm bells rang that she's definitely not interested in me romantically if she wants my sister to join us. She obviously doesn't want it to feel like a date (I'd love it to feel like a date because I've never been on one LOL!) but at least she didn't outright reject me.

She never confirmed if she was free Saturday and I'm kind of regretting not asking her "Are still free Sat?" because I'm told that you girls never text first ;) she certainly doesn't anyway! But, I didn't want to look pushy.

Erm... So yeah that's where I am at the moment. I've been debating whether to say to her tonight "Me and my sister are going out Friday night, did you want to join us?" but I don't know if we actually are haha! Or would it be best to leave it another week and ask her again? I don't want her to lose interest in the idea. She obviously doesn't want any sort of relationship with me, but that's OK because I think we'd be great friends anyway. I'm just worried about fancying her for the rest of my life and not being able to move on! It's so painful.

Thanks again for all your replies. Any further replies would be much appreciated.

Aww, you are so nice to say we are the nicest here!

I hope you can sort a meet up, I know the stress of balancing trying to appear interested but not too pushy!

She may have been being friendly in suggesting your sister come too, or wanting to get to know your family too, or maybe she would be nervous with just you two. I don't want to get your hopes up, cos I know from experience that makes it hurt more in the long run, if they're not interested. But don't completely give up just yet.

If she's just out of a relationship, she may not be even considering getting into another right now, she could be hurting or pissed off about her ex still. And even if she doesn't feel anything for you right now, she could grow to as she gets to know you better. So just see how it goes. I know it's so frustrating when you want something to happen now!!

Again, wishing you luck, and keep us updated.

Well it seems that happy endings really do only exist in Fairy tales. I messaged her again about going out but she replied saying that she's left town. Se had to leave immediately. I said I hope everything's OK but I'm yet to receive a reply. Just yesterday she posted a picture on FB with her and some bloke saying she's feeling 'loved up'.

Strangely though I don't feel as crushed as I thought I would. I'm a believer in that if it's meant to be then it'll be. I actually feel quite stupid for ever thinking that I had a chance with someone so utterly beautiful. I suppose it's because I've never been close to being in a relationship since I was about thirteen! She felt like the one I've been waiting for, but I suppose not.

Time is a healer. I'll get over it and move on. It looks like I'm destined for an eternity of singlehood. Thank you for your support though , especially you Secrets Hurt! All the best to everyone.

Hey I'm sorry to hear that. Well she's missing out. She may have looked beautiful and I don't know what you look like or anything but you seem nice and caring and decent and I wouldn't say you're destined for an eternity of singlehood, unless you are actually me or a clone of me, lol.

I'm glad you're doing ok though. All the best to you too, I hope you'll stick around here, though if not remember we're here if you ever need support!!

Sorry to hear that! As above, you seem really nice so I'm sure you will find someone special. All the best :)