Struggling with the loss of my dad!
 

Hey there whomever you are who reads this. I recently, almost five months ago now lost my dad to pancreatic cancer very suddenly, we only knew he had it a week before he died. I am struggling so much some days are better than others but you truly do not know and cannot begin to imagine the immensity of the loss until you lose a parent. It is so hard because although I have many people around family and friends who love and care so much about me I have never felt so alone than as I do now. Most of the time I cannot accept or comprehend that my dad is gone and will never come back and right now it feels like I never really will, it feels like I am dreaming and I just need to wake up. I also feel so lost right now without my dad and the strength he gave me and am finding it hard to care as much about things, I just don't want grief to turn me into someone else someone I don't like, it would be nice to find the happy girl I use to be I have not seen her for so long now. I just hope I can find her and that things will get easier to bear as grieving is so hard work and crying is so exhausting. I just thought it may help to try and reach out to people who may understand a little of what I am going through and I thought and hoped it may help me a little.
Rolfsdaughter

I'm so sorry about the loss of your father. It is a very traumatic thing to go through. My father died suddenly when I was 7 years old so I know how hard it is. The only thing that I can tell you is that although the loss will always be there, the pain of it lessens. It just takes time. As long as you allow yourself to grieve your life will eventually return to normal. It seems like problems arise when people try to avoid the pain through destructive behaviors. I hope that one day you will find happiness again!