I Lost My Best Friend... *Triggering*
 

Three months ago I met an amazing guy. He became my best friend faster than anyone I've ever met. On Friday the thirteenth, I got a phone call while I was next door. His very recent ex girlfriend is one of my good friends and she had gone over there to hang out with him. She said I had to get over there now. She's kind of a drama queen so I figured she was just pissed off about something. I got there and he was laying in his bed, his eyes were all black around the rims, and his lips were blue.

I yelled his name, I shook him, splashed water on him, nothing.

I felt for a pulse and there was nothing.

I looked for breathing and there was nothing.

I started CPR and told her she had to get someone now. I tried to open his airway and cut my hand on his teeth. He gurgled when I tried to get oxygen into his lungs.

I can't get him out of my head... I can still feel how cold his lips were, and how his eyes just weren't his anymore. I have nightmares of that morning almost every night.

I don't know how to get him out of my head and I don't have anyone to talk to. I really need help because I'm in the worst place I've been in for a long time....