RYL Forums - Questionnaire

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- - Questionnaire (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23067)

smileemptysoul

05-11-2007 05:18 AM

Questionnaire

I am doing a paper for school and trying to raise awareness about SI, so I am trying to compile information directly from anyone who is willing to give it. This questionnaire is designed to try to help understand SI(Self Injury). No names will be used in the research results, only the answers given. Please only answer what you feel comfortable with, you can say as much or as little as you like. Please number your answers with respect to the questions when filling out the questionnaire if you choose to participate. If you rather not comment please feel free to PM me. Also please keep in mind the rules of ryl when responding to the questions. Thanks for your help!

Male/Female
How old were you when you started to Self Injure?
How do you SI?
Do you try to hide it? How?
Why do you SI? What do you get out of it?
Have you ever told anyone that you SI? If yes, who did you tell and how did they react? How did you tell them?
Did you ever seek professional help for SI? If yes, did it help you?
Did you ever want to seek help but didn’t? If yes why didn’t you?
Have you ever been diagnosed with a psych disorder? If yes, which one? Do you think there is a connection between the disorder and your SI?
Have you ever SI with the intent of suicide?
If you have been to the hospital for SI, how did the staff treat you?
Did you ever want to quit SI? Please explain both yes and no answers. If you did decide to try to quit about how long after you started to SI did you decide you wanted to quit? What did you try to do to quit? What helped and what did not?
Do you think SI should be categorized as disorder in itself?
Did your SI injury get worse with time or did it stay about the same?
If you could find healthier ways that would give you the same effects of SI, would you stop SIing and replace it with the healthier alternative?
Did you ever regret SI?
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’?
State any comments about this questionnaire or suggestions to make it better if you like
State any additional comments or if you feel you want to say something that wasn’t addressed in this questionnaire.

~invisible~girl~

05-11-2007 07:04 AM

1. Female
2. 16
3. I cut. Doesn't that question have some potential for tip-sharing though?
4. Yes. Long sleeves, arm warmers, etc.
5. Um... I could probably write a page or two on that, and if you asked again tomorrow I'd give a completely different answer... Right now I'd have to go with the explanation that I gave in this thread: http://www.recoveryourlife.com/Forum...t=21933&page=4
about not talking and stuff (if you look at my post there, you'll see why I didn't just copy it over here), but it's kind of long and complicated, and like I said, I'd probably give a different explanation tomorrow.
6. Yes. I told my doctor because she asked if I'd ever intentionally hurt myself, and I said yes. She just asked me some questions about how often, how badly, and stuff like that to find out how dangerous it was and whatever, and now she asks about it every so often cause of the meds I'm taking, like if I've been doing it more or less or whatever. My mom found out about it recently, although I didn't tell her on purpose, but she read my journal. She said we needed to talk, told me she'd read my journal, and then made me give her my blades (although I didn't give her all of them), and like said I had to try meds and/or counseling at school and stuff, and she's tried to talk to me about it a few times since then (which I generally try my best to avoid).
7. Sort of. I'm on antidepressant meds not directly for SI, but for depression/anxiety that's probably what's mainly causing it, and they're helping with some stuff I think but not really with SI.
8. Yes. I didn't because I pretty much can't talk to people - nothing specific to SI. Like I have this thing on my toe that I've wanted for years to have checked by a doctor, but I can't make an appointment or ask about it - same thing with SI - it's nothing to do with being embarrassed about it, or thinking people will react badly or anything, it's just a general thing about initiating a conversation about anything.
9. I've been diagnosed with some learning disabilities, which are technically considered mental disorders (as in, they're in the DSM and everything), but nothing relevant to SI. My mom says I'm depressed (based on my journal), and since she's a psychologist, she'd know, but she didn't do any assessments or anything, and people aren't really supposed to diagnose their own kids anyway, so it's not a formal diagnosis.
10. No.
11. N/A (never been to the hospital)
12. Sometimes. Most of the time I want to quit, but not when I decide to cut, or some other times. I don't think I can really explain it either way.
13. No. It's a maladaptive coping mechanism and/or a symptom of other disorders. It can be associated with too many different underlying causes. I think that cutting to draw attention to yourself versus to distract yourself from or otherwise alleviate negative feelings versus to punish yourself, versus to stop yourself from dissociating are such dramatically different processes leading to the behavior that classifying them based on the resulting behavior, rather than the motivations for it wouldn't be very useful.
14. It got worse for a little while at first, as I found 'better' tools so I could make myself bleed more (not that I cut very deep or anything, but I could barely even break the skin at first), and also as I kind of gained confidence in the idea that I did want to do it when I was actually cutting and started making several cuts at once and cutting more often. But it's been about the same for a few years now, apart from that how often I cut changes depending on stress and stuff.
15. Yes, but I don't think there's anything that would replace it, since having visible cuts on my arm is one of the important effects for me (if you really want to know, read my post in the thread I linked too).
16. Yes. Every time it's warm out and I want to wear short sleeves, every time I want to go swimming, definitely when my mom found out (although then I regretted having written that journal and left it on my desk a lot more than I regretted SI), and sometimes just looking at my arm even if I don't have reason for anyone else to be able to see it.
17. I don't know. My mom certainly plenty about SI before she found out I did it, but I still didn't want her to know, and I even found myself wishing she could have reacted like a normal parent, and not understood so much. But I don't know how other people would react.

mansonluvr5692

05-11-2007 07:53 AM

Female
12
I mostly cut, but have tried burning.
Um. I try to cut mostly on my legs because no one ever sees them, so yes, i do try to hide it. It's a very secretive release of paint for me, and it doesn't seem right to have your SI showing off to everybody and his brother.
I SI because 1) it's an addiction for me now 2) it's the way I can cope with things 3) it's my way of crying since I haven't been able to cry lately. SI-ing gives me a sense of control over something in my life and it makes me feel the pain that's on the inside in physical form. I know it sounds cliche but it's true..
My friends found out about my SI when we were changing in gym class, because I wasn't very careful, and they went to my guidance counselor and first she called in my teacher (who is like one of my idols and mentors) and they both talked to me for a while about it, then the guidance counselor told me mom, my teacher cried I think, and my mom was just shocked, and my guidance counselor was disappointed in me and/or worried about me, well, they were all worried about me I think, but the teacher and guidance counselor think I'm doing better now. GOSH, so many lies. That was in middle school, I go to a high school in a different district, and I do tell most of my friends there that I SI. My family doesn't like it and they really want me to stop, and my friends, well, they kind of think I've stopped, so they're less worried about me.
At first I was kind of "placed" into therapy by my mom, so at first I wasn't really wanting help, but after my first hospitalization, I think I decided that I did need more help than I thought. So far, it does seem to be helping, at least a little bit. I went to a complete low point like a year ago, about a year after I started SI-ing, and I've been getting better and better with every month.
There were a couple times when I know I should have gone to talk to my guidance counselor and part of me really did want to, but I think there was this louder part of me that was telling me to just cut and keep cutting, like i don't need help, cuz it isn't a problem.
I have been diagnosed with manic depressive disorder, PTSD, and EDNOS. There is definately a connection between the disorders and my SI.
No. SI to me is done to keep myself alive, not to kill myself.
I've been to the hospital a few times, usually for more than just SI, usually I was suicidal and then they said that I also had to work on the SI, but the staff treated me pretty well, they weren't horrible, there was one lady who wasn't very nice, but you're going to find people like that everywhere, I guess.
Um. I have tried to quit like three times since I started SI-ing, once almost six months after I started. I tried to quit that time because I wanted to go this camp and my mom and the camp director made a deal with me that I could go if I didn't SI at all, but that didn't really last long. And then I tried to quit after a really long stay at the hospital. That was about a year after I started. I tried to quite that time because I decided that I never wanted to go to the hospital again. As long as I could help it. And then I tried to quit this past summer, for my girlfriend, and I've done pretty well, I've only cut a couple times a month, which is much better than the everyday cutting that was happening before. Talking to people when I felt like SI-ing definately helped me a lot.
Um.. I'm not sure. Usually it is a coping skill for some other disorder, so I guess it shouldn't...
It's definately gotten worse.
Possibly. I would probably try those things, and if they didn't work for me, then I would probably go back to SI-ing.
Yes. Definately.
Um.. I guess it really depends on the person. I mean some people might think it's easier to talk about it if it's more well known, but then other people might hide it more for some reason or another. i guess we'll just never be able to please everyone, but I think most people would think it's easier.

Ashleygray

05-11-2007 08:00 AM

Female
13
Cutting, burning
Yes, underneath my clothes
To make me feel real
My mum found out and was upset
Yes, it hasn't helped yet
I was forced to seek help
Anxiety & depression
Yep
Only ODing
no
Yes, but i never lasted longer than 3 weeks.
Yes
Much worse
Yes
Always
Yes
-
-

Ginger Snap

05-11-2007 11:40 AM

1. Female
2. 15
3. Cutting
4. Sometimes but i don't bother when the cuts have healed as such.
5. I SI to be able to cope with just about everything. But now i can't live without it and it's become an addiction.
6. No but my sister once saw my amrs covered in scars and burst into tears and ran upstairs, as it turned out, into my room where she calmed down and asked me why. We've never talked about it since.
7. No.
8. No
9. No but i am terrified of doctors. I'm pretty sure i have depression though.
10. No.
11. No.
12. Yes i have wanted to on a few occasions. I was just sick of it ruling my life and it was especially difficult in summer, so i quit. I lasted 8 weeks. That's the longest i've gone of about 5 attempts. I think i was 18 when i first decided to quit. I lasted that long just because the thought of stopping made me feel so much better! Distractions helped a lot too. However, the last time i tired to quit i turned to alcohol instead which was not the best move. It was eventually the reason i gave up quitting.
13. No, i don't think it's a disorder.
14. It definately got worse over time.
15. I doubt it. It's a shame but i don't think i'd ever replace it as such.
16. I regret it every day. But i'd never give it up, i just can't live without it at this point.
17. Yes definately because it's not actually accepted by a lot of poeple. Still!

hammy

05-11-2007 11:51 AM

Female
20
cut od
not anymore
relief, pain, punishment
parents found out, got in too deep. friends know. hospital know
yes hospital, docs etc. yea it helped but took me time
i didnt want help at first. didnt want to accept I was ill
i have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, yes there is a correlation
yes
the staff at hospital were nice most of the time
yes i wanted to quit, felt guilt every time after I had done it. had to draw, paint, sing, go for a run, find other coping mechanisms
maybe
it reached a peak
of course
yes
people are always worried about si, but that is natural

[/quote]

quautia

05-11-2007 12:53 PM

Male/Female
Female
How old were you when you started to Self Injure?
There were a few isolated incidents in my childhood. I started to Self-Injure on a regular basis when I was 11.
How do you SI?
I mainly cut, but I also skin pick, burn and hit myself.
Do you try to hide it? How?
I don't hide my old scars, but I do hide any new ones. Everyone thinks I haven't self-harmed in over 5 years. I only cut on areas that aren't visible to others.
Why do you SI? What do you get out of it?
I use Self-Injury as a coping strategy. I suffer from Depression and Anxiety (and possibly Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I'm also a recovering alcoholic and binge eater. If I were to drink again, it would kill me - either eventually through ill health, or soon rather than later as I attempted suicide the last time I drank. Its more important that I stay sober than it is to stay Self-Injury free. I use it as a way of coping with life, as I'm still learning how to deal with normal situations after years of medicating myself with alcohol and food. I don't get much out of it, just a small sense of relief and it delays the emotional pain for a little while, while I find other ways to cope. I also use Self-Injury as a way to punish myself.
Have you ever told anyone that you SI? If yes, who did you tell and how did they react? How did you tell them?
My Parents, friends and teachers were aware of my Self-Injury when I was in my early teens. This was when my Self-Injury was at its most unmanagable, and most people reactive negatively, thinking I was doing it for attention. I wasn't urged to seek help, I was just told to stop doing it. At first, I never hid my self-injury, so it was just common knowledge.
Did you ever seek professional help for SI? If yes, did it help you?
I've seen various GP's over the past 9 years for help with my Depression, Anxiety, Alcoholism and Self-Injury. At first, I didn't get the help I needed, as I was labelled 'Attention Seeking'. It was only recently that I've learnt how to communicate my needs, and I also opened up about the sexual abuse I suffered. I am now on a waiting list to see a Specialist.
Did you ever want to seek help but didn’t? If yes why didn’t you?
I've been put off visiting Accident & Emergency. I visited once, and was made to wait 5 hours before being told that I might not be able to see a Pyschiarist anyway. I also avoid phoning the Crisis Team, as a GP told me that was just for Suicidal people, not for Self-Injury.
Have you ever been diagnosed with a psych disorder? If yes, which one? Do you think there is a connection between the disorder and your SI?
I'm currently diagnosed with Severe Depression and Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I'm awaiting an appointment with a specialist for a 'proper' diagnosis - probably Severe Depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Seasonal Affective Disorder. I view my Self-Injury as an addiction, that is no doubt linked to my other mental health problems, but not caused directly by them.
Have you ever SI with the intent of suicide?
Yes, once.
If you have been to the hospital for SI, how did the staff treat you?
I have always avoided seeking treatment for my Injuries.
Did you ever want to quit SI? Please explain both yes and no answers. If you did decide to try to quit about how long after you started to SI did you decide you wanted to quit? What did you try to do to quit? What helped and what did not?
Yes, I have wanted to stop Self-Injurying for quite a while. After about 4 years of Self-Injury I wanted to stop as my partner didn't like it. About a year ago I wanted to stop for me, after I attempted suicide. I realised that I didn't want to die. I'm following a 12 step program for my Alcoholism and Binge eating, and this is helping with my attempts to stop Self-Injury. Speaking to other people who have self-injured has helped.
Do you think SI should be categorized as disorder in itself?
I have no view on others' Self-Injury - I only comment on my own personal experiences.
Did your SI injury get worse with time or did it stay about the same?
It stayed the same. From the beginning, I Self-Injured in a controlled manner, ensuring that I never went too far or required any medical attention.
If you could find healthier ways that would give you the same effects of SI, would you stop SIing and replace it with the healthier alternative?
Thats what I'm trying to do. The 12 steps are teaching me how to cope with life without any of my destructive coping strategies.
Did you ever regret SI?
I regret being so open in the beginning, and I regret my Husband finding out about my lapse a year ago. I don't regret any of the actual acts as they helped to prevent suicide. I don't regret my suicide attempt, as that was the rock bottom which forced me to do something - to give up drinking and try and rebuild my life.
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’?
I think the new awareness does both increase and decrease peoples willingness to 'come out'. While there is a great deal more understanding these days, shows like 'Hollyoaks' which show the usual teenage self-harmer haven't helped the general understanding of many people. Lots of people (sadly some professionals too) still think that Self-Injury is just about attention seeking.
State any comments about this questionnaire or suggestions to make it better if you like.
Well written.
State any additional comments or if you feel you want to say something that wasn’t addressed in this questionnaire.
No, thanks.

Ileana

05-11-2007 03:02 PM

Male/Female: Female.
How old were you when you started to Self Injure?: Eleven years old.
How do you SI?: I'd cut myself. Arms and legs mostly.
Do you try to hide it? How?: I did, I'd cover my wrists with things and wear sweaters...and never wore shorts that were too short.
Why do you SI? What do you get out of it?: Endorphines. It's a pain killer, when you're in pain and you get hurt phisically the attention shifts to the phisical pain providing a temporary relief of the emotional pain as the body releases endorphines to compensate for the external injury. It's higly addictive though.
Have you ever told anyone that you SI? If yes, who did you tell and how did they react? How did you tell them? My best friend knew, from the start. I told him. He reacted intelligently didn't approve byt didn't make me feel guilty either. I've told people I've trusted through out my life.
Did you ever seek professional help for SI? If yes, did it help you?: I was practically forced to do it and no, it didn't help at all. Sadly.
Did you ever want to seek help but didn’t? If yes why didn’t you?: Yes but was afraid and didn't get any support from parents.
Have you ever been diagnosed with a psych disorder? If yes, which one?: No. I was told about one thing but turned out it didn't fit and the perosn who told me hadn't even talked to me for more than two minutes so had no criteria to diagnose me.
Do you think there is a connection between the disorder and your SI?: No disorder.
Have you ever SI with the intent of suicide?: No.
If you have been to the hospital for SI, how did the staff treat you?: I haven't, thank gods.
Did you ever want to quit SI? Please explain both yes and no answers. If you did decide to try to quit about how long after you started to SI did you decide you wanted to quit? What did you try to do to quit? What helped and what did not?: Yes. I quit about a year ago. I did it for my boyfriend because it hurt him to see me hurt myself and I didn't want to hurt him. My relationship with him helped, my situation at home did not.
Do you think SI should be categorized as disorder in itself?: Maybe. I know some people get lebled with disorders based solely on the fact that they SI and that is not right and not a criteria in itself to diagnose a person with something. It's not a disorder though, just a coping mechanism and people without a disorder can become addicted to it too...the common thing in it is pain, emotional pain, wether the product of a disorder or external influences.
Did your SI injury get worse with time or did it stay about the same?: Got a litle worse with time but not much.
If you could find healthier ways that would give you the same effects of SI, would you stop SIing and replace it with the healthier alternative?: Yes, definitely.
Did you ever regret SI?: Most of the time, especially after it begins to heal and you see the scar you'll end up with.
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’?: Yes, it does.
State any comments about this questionnaire or suggestions to make it better if you like
State any additional comments or if you feel you want to say something that wasn’t addressed in this questionnaire.

[...LoveKillsSlowly...]

05-11-2007 04:24 PM

Femalee
I started self injuring at 15
Cutting
Yes, i hide it with long sleeves or arm warmers
It m akes me feel better at that moment because it's all i can think about.
I told a couple of my close friends, my boyfriend and my mom. i told my close friends and my boyfriend by talkin to them when i found out they self harmed too. i told my mom in a letter, she was angry and made me feel worse. but i thought it would be a good idea to toell her as i didnt like hiding them all the time. i told my bf and friends because they were willing to help me. and they reacted supportively.
I havent yet, im goin to the doctors on tuesday because i think i have depresssion or something, so it may come out then maybe. but i dont no.
I have often thought about it, but ims cared that it will reach my mom who thinks i have stopped and i dont want that to happen.
Not yet tho it's possible it will happen in the future.
I think, if im diagnosed with a mental disorder it could account for a good portion of my SI.
Yes.
I've never had to go the hospital for my SI
I quit once for about 3 months bcos my bf at the time threatened to dump me if i didnt. it was really hard but i did it for about three months and then decided that it was my body and my life so screw him. iv often thought about giving up, but dont see it happening at the moment because i dont no how i would cope without it.
It's like anorexia and bulimia, so yes, maybe it should.
It gets worse during bad times and better during the better times, but apart from that it has stayed about the same i guess.
If i could find something healthier yea, i probably would stop SIing, but i havent found that yet!
Alot of the time iv wanted to go swimming or wear short sleeves and i couldnt because of the scars and cuts.
Yes, in some ways because some ppl openly 'bad mouth' it, but the awareness of it also means that its a more accepted thing so ppl can feel slightly better about 'coming out' knowing that there isnt such a stigma attactched to it due to the awareness of it.
State any comments about this questionnaire or suggestions to make it better if you like
The reasons behind SI should have been mentioned maybe

Emma_bear

05-11-2007 04:53 PM

Female
Sixteen
I mostly cut, but I have hit myself also.
I wear jackets all the time and also have many bracelets and wear sweat bands.
As a form of punishment against myself, And to be able to feel pain.
I told one of my closest friends, she also Self-harmed so she didnt react shocked or anything, I guess she already knew. I also told my tutor at my last University and the counsellor on campus there, both of them were very supportive and understanding.
Ive only ever spoken with a counsellor at my last University, I only attended one meeting so I didnt really gain anything from it.
I desperatley want to seek help, I guess im just scared what the doctor will say if I go to him, also Im scared of them not taking me seriously and to the other extreme, becoming dependent on medication.
No, Ive never been diagnosed with any disorder.
A few times when I was at college, when things got very bad for me mentally, in recent times it is just to hurt myself and there is no suicidal intent.
Ive never been to the hospital about SI.
I wanted to quit SI because the scarring on my arms and legs were getting much worse and it was more difficult to hide them. I did quit for around 12 months but then lapsed back into the routine.
Yes.
Yes my SI has got much worse.
Probably not, the pain and hurt I feel when i SI is the main reason I do it.
Sometimes yes.
I think we need more coverage of SI in soaps etc to help sufferers and to stop it being such a taboo subject.

Anansi

05-11-2007 05:14 PM

Female
14/15
Cutting, OD
Yes, but cutting in places that are not seen often and covering them with bands etc
I find it therapeutic, it helps me to stop crying and calm myself down and gives me something to focus on other than the bad things. Also, the pain factor. It gives me something to hold onto for days so that I can think about that instead of anything else.
Yes, my best friends. Some found out and some I told - some reacted well and weresupportive. Some just accepted it and some accepted it and alter used it against me. Also, my mum. I wrote her a letter and she was very supportive, she basically jsut wanted to learn more about it so she could help me.
Yes, but only at school. No, the nurse wasn't very well trained to deal with it (despite being an adolescent specialist!).
Yes, because I was too young to go to the doctors and not ahve my parents told.
No.
Yes, OD's.
Haven't.
Yes, I still do. I decided about one and a half years after I started. I tried throwing everything away that I used and coming on here/talking to friends whenever I felt down. RYL definately helped and so did my friends, but throwing things away didn't really - they were still available.
No. It is jsut a result of other disorders or stress in general.
It did get worse with time but then eased off again.
I don't think so. I think the fact that it is unhealthy makes me want to do it more.
Always.
I'm not sure. I think if there was a huge awareness drive and my school and other people "came out" I might do to. Especially if it would help others, so yes, I think it might.
None.
None.

bitheway

05-11-2007 05:33 PM

1. Female
2. 14
3. started by hitting punching kicking self, picking at scabs, then scratching, then cutting, and lastly oding and suicide attempts (sigh)
4. Yes i wear long sleeves now.
5. The physical pain helps cope with the emotional pain. Yes some of my friends know. I only told them after they showed me their scars and told me that they used to cut and were now recovered. I then told them that i still do cut and wanna quit and they want to help me quit.
6. Yes
7. no
8. Yes i have PTSD and i think it might connect with my cutting, idk
9. never cutting but other ways yes once
10. I was in the psych ward once....the staf was nice the patients were nice except for one....shudders
11. I wanna quit, so far its been 2 weeks since my last cut, over a year since i last kicked or punched, and a week since my last suicide attempt
12. yes
13. it got worse
14. yes
15. no
16. yea if more people understood that it was an addiction and a way to cope and it is really hard to quit i think it would be easier for people who self injure to reach out for help
17. It was fine
18. People who cut arent always suicidal....sometimes they cut to release the pain and feel more alive than they would with out cutting

hope51

05-11-2007 05:46 PM

1. Female.
2. 14.
3. Cutting, burning, OD.
4.Yes, by wearing long sleves, fingerless gloves.
5. I guess i see it as my way of coping, it depends how i feel to what i
get from it, sometimes it brings me back to reality, sometimes it's to
forget whats reality, sometimes its to get peace from myself (it's a bit
difficult to think when your hurting i guess,) sometimes its to punish
myself, so yer lots of reasons.
6. I've only ever told one freind, they acted a bit shocked it's never been
mentioned again, i told them beacuse it was i case of i needed to go to
hospital for stiches, and i was ment to being going out with them, i just
thought to myself no more lieing just tell them the truth.
7. Yes, and no it didn't really help because i didn't really feel able at the
time to talk about what was going on.
8. Yes, i wish i had the nevre to go see someone now but i'm just to
scared to take that first step.
9. No.
10.Yes.
11. Ok sometimes, sometimes they where reallly horrible though.
12. Yes about a year after i first started because it was getting too out
of control and it was effecting other areas of my life. Tried throwing
stuff away but if i wanted to SI that bad i could always find
something.
13. Yes
14. Got worse with time, doesn't seem to be getting any better.
15. Hmmm not sure, i would proberly give it go and take it from there.
16. Sometimes.
17. Not sure.

claireyfairy

05-11-2007 06:44 PM

Female
12
Cutting
Sleeves, gloves, sweatbands
Anger, blood, stops me crying
Told my friends they were just worried, but soon shut up about it
Was forced into counselling and it didnt really help, just got some pills.
Have sometimes though I need help, but scared I guess,
Just depression.
NO but I did slit my wrist acroos the vein with the intention of passing out.
n/a
Tried, failed, stopp for a while, recently started up again more. Tbh, I don't really care if I've stopped or not. I cut then I move on and forget it.
Hmm it would be too hard to define/explain
It's got more frequent at times of stress but its not a regular thing, unless something sets me off.
No I like the blood and the scars.
Of course
No idea...

jessye

05-11-2007 06:53 PM

Female
11
Pretty much anyway you can think of. Cutting, burning, hairpulling, self bruising, self poisoning, scratching, etc
Depends. I cover up at work because I work in a little posh restaurant and I don't want to put the cutomers off their food! Apart from that, not really, unless I know people will get the wrong impression or if they are fresh injuries.
Thats such a hard question to answer. I suppose its the standard answer, to alleviate emotional pain. But also to punish myself. To look as bad as I feel.
Not really directly. People find out. The only person that I've had to tell was my doctor and my parents did that anyway. Reactions have been mixed. When I first told my parents it was horrible. But that was when they used to be violent and had been drinking and just didn't understand.
Yes. Well it was mainly for the depression and it helped with that which helped with the need to SI.
Yes. Because I was ashamed and didn't really want help deep down
Just good old fashioned clinical depression
Yes. I was depressed from about 9 and SI was a coping mechanism that I adopted to get through each day.
No. Never
With dignity and understanding I'm glad to say. They just did what they had to do.
No. I still don't even though I don't do it anymore.
No. I believe it is a symptom of other emotional distress.
It got progressively worse.
Yes. But nothing can compare or replace SI.
Yes. Sounds pathetic and self involved but I am attractive but that is permanently marred now. And people don't often look past the scars.
You know I think it will always be shameful and taboo. I think it depends on the person and their support networks
I think you covered it but some of the longer questions should be split into several questions
It never ever goes away. This is going to be with me forever. And I'm scared by it but also thrilled. Its sick.

Artyom

05-11-2007 08:24 PM

Male/Female - Male
How old were you when you started to Self Injure? - 14
How do you SI? - Mainly cutting
Do you try to hide it? How? - yes, wear sweaters and hoodies.
Why do you SI? What do you get out of it? - lately its just because i enjoy the sensation i get out of it. just the feeling and sight of blood.
Have you ever told anyone that you SI? If yes, who did you tell and how did they react? How did you tell them? - ive told a few close friends so i wouldnt have to keep things hidden so much, just wanted to get it out there. their reactions were good, no one ever really got mad or anything negative.
Did you ever seek professional help for SI? If yes, did it help you? - not because i wanted to, but because of the rents finding out and making me.
Did you ever want to seek help but didn’t? If yes why didn’t you? - there have been times i wanted to before i got caught, and when i did get caught and parents made me get help, i didnt like it.
Have you ever been diagnosed with a psych disorder? If yes, which one? Do you think there is a connection between the disorder and your SI? - severe depression, and i feel that there is a connection most of the time just because i always feel so sh*tty.
Have you ever SI with the intent of suicide? - no
If you have been to the hospital for SI, how did the staff treat you? - ive only been to the hospital once and had cuts all over me, but i was unconcious from where my parents took me there when they discovered i took too many pills.
Did you ever want to quit SI? Please explain both yes and no answers. If you did decide to try to quit about how long after you started to SI did you decide you wanted to quit? What did you try to do to quit? What helped and what did not? - yes ive wanted to and tried. and ive gone a decent amount of time without it, then the urges just came back and i decided i really didnt want to. its just something that makes me feel good and something that will always be a part of me. when i tried to quit, i basically just quit cold turkey and it was hard at first the gradually get easier, but like i said, intense urges would just hit me out of random.
Do you think SI should be categorized as disorder in itself? - hmm im not real sure.
Did your SI injury get worse with time or did it stay about the same? - got significantly worse over time.
If you could find healthier ways that would give you the same effects of SI, would you stop SIing and replace it with the healthier alternative? - thats hard to tell.
Did you ever regret SI? - many times.
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’? - yes for both.

musik-addikt

05-11-2007 08:27 PM

Male/Female female
How old were you when you started to Self Injure? 12 years old
How do you SI? cut / burn / blunt force
Do you try to hide it? yes How? always in places where it wouldn't be seen, even in summer
Why do you SI? to try to express how I'm feeling on the insideWhat do you get out of it? nothing positive, just guilt and more self hatred
Have you ever told anyone that you SI? If yes, who did you tell and how did they react? they were pretty supportive they were a social owkrer and nurse do they had to be How did you tell them? through a letter then eeventually showing them
Did you ever seek professional help for SI? If yes, did it help you?
Did you ever want to seek help but didn’t? If yes why didn’t you?
Have you ever been diagnosed with a psych disorder? If yes, which one? Do you think there is a connection between the disorder and your SI? depression - they are most likely related and dperession is possibly not the only disorder thati have
Have you ever SI with the intent of suicide?
If you have been to the hospital for SI, how did the staff treat you?
Did you ever want to quit SI? Please explain both yes and no answers. If you did decide to try to quit about how long after you started to SI did you decide you wanted to quit? What did you try to do to quit? What helped and what did not?
Do you think SI should be categorized as disorder in itself? no
Did your SI injury get worse with time or did it stay about the same? gets worse depending on whats happening in my life
If you could find healthier ways that would give you the same effects of SI, would you stop SIing and replace it with the healthier alternative?
Did you ever regret SI? everyday
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’? yes if it wasn't so taboo then ppl would talk aobut it more
State any comments about this questionnaire or suggestions to make it better if you like
State any additional comments or if you feel you want to say something that wasn’t addressed in this questionnaire.

suicidal~lullaby

05-11-2007 08:40 PM

female
How old were you when you started to Self Injure? 12ish
How do you SI? with scissors to the wrist, picking scabs, scratch up hands with satfy pin
Do you try to hide it? How? yes, with wrisstbands or pulling long clothing on
Why do you SI? What do you get out of it? because i have no other outlet, the pain that matches how im felin inside
Have you ever told anyone that you SI? If yes, who did you tell and how did they react? How did you tell them? yes, and they said if i cut again, they will
Did you ever seek professional help for SI? If yes, did it help you? no, because my dad says i dont need a consilor
Did you ever want to seek help but didn’t? If yes why didn’t you? yes i want to, becuase my dad says i dont need someone to slove my problems for me
Have you ever been diagnosed with a psych disorder? If yes, which one? Do you think there is a connection between the disorder and your SI? maybe depression, chemical inbalancd perhaps, a lil anger management, and maybe
Have you ever SI with the intent of suicide? not...yet
If you have been to the hospital for SI, how did the staff treat you? nope not at all
Did you ever want to quit SI? Please explain both yes and no answers. If you did decide to try to quit about how long after you started to SI did you decide you wanted to quit? What did you try to do to quit? What helped and what did not? i tried. but it never worked. but since i cant get counsiling, cutting is my only out let because writing just doenst help
Do you think SI should be categorized as disorder in itself? it could be
Did your SI injury get worse with time or did it stay about the same? worse. but scissors are my best friend when i am depressed
If you could find healthier ways that would give you the same effects of SI, would you stop SIing and replace it with the healthier alternative? maybe salt and ice, but i like seeing the blood
Did you ever regret SI? eventually
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’? i hVe come out about being bi but that isnt what im cutting over. but yes it could be
State any comments about this questionnaire or suggestions to make it better if you like
State any additional comments or if you feel you want to say something that wasn’t addressed in this questionnaire. I have cut on and off since middle school and i dont plan on revocering fully because even if a try i just end up doing it again. so i dont think there is help for someone like me.

Stellata

05-11-2007 08:41 PM

Male/Female female
How old were you when you started to Self Injure? 26, but had ED before then [I'm 37 now]
How do [did] you SI? scratching, hitting
Do you try to hide it? yes at work, no I don't hide it in therapy or at home How? Cover up with sleeves.
Why do you SI? relief from feeling raw and vulnerable, express what my alternate self cannot put into words. it helps me to cry sometimes. self punishment
What do you get out of it? initial relief, then shame and vulnerability and rawness
Have you ever told anyone that you SI? If yes, who did you tell and how did they react? Yes - My therapist, my GP, my flatmates, also my closest friend, as well as members of a group I was in a while back.Very understanding and empathic. How did you tell them? Face to face. My flatmates was after they saw the bruise on my arm.
Did you ever seek professional help for SI? If yes, did it help you? I am in therapy for depression, severe anxiety and complex PTSD, working on overcoming self harm is an integral part of that. Yes, it really helps.
Did you ever want to seek help but didn’t? If yes why didn’t you?
Have you ever been diagnosed with a psych disorder? If yes, which one? Do you think there is a connection between the disorder and your SI? recurrent depression, complex PTSD, panic and anxiety. yes. it's mostly past trauma related
Have you ever SI with the intent of suicide? no
If you have been to the hospital for SI, how did the staff treat you? not been
Did you ever want to quit SI? Please explain both yes and no answers. If you did decide to try to quit about how long after you started to SI did you decide you wanted to quit? What did you try to do to quit? What helped and what did not? I am in recovery. 2 and a bit years free with a few slip ups when things got too much. - every 6 months or so.
Do you think SI should be categorized as disorder in itself? if it fits the person, maybe yes, although maybe a separate connected illness like maybe chronic stress might be more appropriate in some cases where criteria aren't met for anxiety or depression, for example.
Did your SI injury get worse with time or did it stay about the same? Much the same, although when things are really bad, that's when I hit myself. It happens very very rarely now.
If you could find healthier ways that would give you the same effects of SI, would you stop SIing and replace it with the healthier alternative?
Did you ever regret SI? I try to understand it compassionately, not judge myself.
Do you think the awareness of SI effects peoples willing/unwillingness to ‘come out’? not sure
State any comments about this questionnaire or suggestions to make it better if you like
State any additional comments or if you feel you want to say something that wasn’t addressed in this questionnaire. I put in my age as it was relevant.

xfallenangelx

05-11-2007 09:27 PM

Female
14
cut/scratch/burn
wearing long trousers/tops/sleeves
to punish myself, to deal with stress/upset/guilt. makes me feel calm and weak and able to settle a bit more
my parents found out when i was in hospital for an ed, and they were extremely shocked and worried. i told my close friends and my boyfriend, and although they find it hard to understand, they are supportive and dont make me feel weird.
i was in 2 different units, one for an ed and one for depression and sh, and i think the second unit did help me with understanding and stopping cutting a lot
if i don't want to tell people its because im ashamed and because i think they cant help me
anorexia and depression. the sh is definately linked to both.
yes
like they were scared of me
no because i was scared i wouldnt be able to cope without it, but yes because i knew that it was spiralling out of control. i have stopped , after i went too far and i knew i had to stop or i would end up killing myself. i also knew i would lose my boyfriend if i carried on. i wrote in my diary a lot, relied on music and excercise to distract me from bad thoughts, and being with my boyfriend a lot, and he was the biggest support to me.
no i don't, i think there is always something behind it, and it is more a symptom of somthing else
got worse - i had to do it worse and worse to get the same feeling.
yes but even now, after being 150 days free, nothing else feels quite the same.
yes i hate it when people im with get self conscious of my scars, although most of the time im fairly comfortable with them, and accept them as part of me.
yes, there is such stigma/taboo/sterotype surrounding it.

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