Why Can't I Speak?
 

Around my friends, I speak very comfortably. I'm often the one comforting them and telling jokes. However, it is hard for me say things to my parents at times. Usually I can have a conversation with them. But if they ask a question like "what did you do in school?" or "what did you have planned?" I find it hard to answer. Often it is because I don't know what I did or I didn't have a plan; sometimes I plan to do weird teenage things with friends that are hard to explain. After they finally "get the answer out of me" they ask what was so hard and think I was hiding something.

My main problem is when they tell me something and I say "okay" too quietly to be heard, because I've said it so often they think it's a non-answer. I want to say something but my mouth seems to tighten after a short silence. Is there any way to get better at speaking with them?

Is it the fact that it's your parents you're talking to, or what they are asking? If a friend asked you what you did in school, would you also struggle to answer?

Perhaps you could strike up conversation with your parents about something you feel comfortable talking about? Practising with conversations you feel comfortable with could help you become more confident when speaking to them about other things.

I have this same issue, but with everyone. I'm just not good at speaking and I mumble and just become difficult to speak to, it's why I'm more quiet than I used to be as it's gotten worse. My only advice is to try to think of things to say ahead of time, maybe plan out what they might ask you about so you know how to answer in a better way, It helps me a bit though annoying to have to plan ahead just to have a simple conversation but it does help a little

I think it's just my parents. With my friends I know how to explain events - we have our own experiences together that make an easier background. Even with a different group of friends it is easier to say things. I guess I feel like what I've done wasn't good enough for my parents to hear.

The problem with that is that when I plan, sometimes it doesn't go the way I think and then I get flustered. Usually I use reasoning to know their responses but even then I'll (not) say something and it will get a bad response, and I'll just be expecting it.

Thanks for the advice you two :)

Is there any topic that you feel comfortable chatting about to your parents?

What sort of things do your parents say/do when you say things and get a 'bad response'?

I get what you're saying. I know is irrational to not know the answer. I just want to know how to be more direct about an answer and how to even get an answer out physically. I still cringe occasionally at things I've said years ago that immediately didn't go over well.

Well, I can talk about most things. I can state something easily. The problem is when I get a question, any at all. I guess I have to just dig through everything to think of an answer. Not sure why though. Even with my friends I often fill the information with random words.

I usually get told that I must not notice how incoherently I'm speaking and that it's not good to do in public. I know that. I can give a better answer to people other than them.

Again, thanks for the responses.

At least you realise there is a problem. For years my parents always joked because I'd just say "grand" when asked how my day was, and nothing else. I didn't even realise this wasn't normal. I've had people say they forgot I was even there because I was so quiet. Now I've gone to the other extreme and no one likes me anymore. So, i dont know. Maybe during the day you could take note whether mentally or physically writing down things you've done throughout the day, interesting conversations etc. I'm sure with practise you would find it easier. Also, you're still a teen, it's normal at that age not to talk to your parents! Though I would suggest trying to anyway, it may benefit you to have their support, well I'm sure you already do but to be able to talk about difficult stuff too. Good luck.

You say that it is mainly just a problem when your parents ask you something? Maybe if you bring the topic up first, and approach them with a 'hey, this is what i did today, what did you do?' before they get a chance to ask you? Maybe you would feel more comfortable telling them if you were more in control of the conversation, and they wouldn't feel like you were hiding things if you willingly shared information without them feeling like they were dragging it out of you.

I don't know if that might be helpful or not? I can totally relate to your issue though. I have similar problems, but with other people.