Guilt/Family Loan-Need Advice
 

Over a year ago, my brother in law asked me to borrow $2k to help out a friend. The friend is someone I know and he use to live with my brother in law and my sister. My sister did not want to get involved in the situation, so my brother in law asked me for the loan and to not let my sister know. He told me that his friend was having family issues and that his friend's wife would also not know about the loan.

At the time I didn't think it was a big deal, but after seeing length my brother in law was trying to hide it. It makes me feel that I am keeping something from my sister and I completely hate the position I was put in. I told myself that I wasn't lying to her, and that if she asked, I would tell her. Unfortunately, now, it also makes me distrust my brother in law a little and am a bit suspicious and wonder what else he could be hiding from my sister. I also had to remind him multiple times for repayment, but received it back 6 months ago.

I know now that I should not have involved myself but its too late and I feel uneasy now. Now I wonder if he's hiding anything else from her. Shouldn't a husband and wife talk things out and compromise and not go behind each others backs? I feel that if my sister found out that I did this and never mentioned anything to her that she will be very upset and never trust me again. It is eating me up inside and I regret my choice.

My boyfriend thinks I might just be turning this situation into a bigger deal and that also my brother in law handled the situation poorly and should have talked to my sister. I can't help but feel like I'm hiding something from her, even though I did nothing wrong.

Any advice on what I should do?

Listen to your boyfriend.

It's a really tricky situation you've been put in, and it's really unfair of your brother-in-law to have asked this of you.

Why did your brother-in-law ask you not to tell your sister? Was it just because she didn't want to get involved and probably wouldn't want you to get involved either?

If it's eating you up, you're perfectly entitled to tell your sister, but you would have to be prepared for it to cause some difficulties between all of you.

Sorry I don't have any concrete advice; I really don't know what to suggest, as I don't know the dynamics of the relationship between the three of you.