Seeking Advice
 

I'll start by talking about myself, when I was 20 I had a son. We went through a long drawn out court process and I was eventually rewarded with soul custody, Halfway through, (2 years) I decided to go back to college and try and better our life. During such time I found out that I was going to be a father again (Different mother) I immediately was overwhelmed and didn't know how to handle it so I put the second child and the relationship on the back burner. See the problem was that after all the court hearings and the battle I became so afraid of being a disappointment to my family and mainly my parents (Since they were my main support) My son is now 3 as I am 23 and the other child is almost 4 months, its the day before Christmas and every time I try to talk to my parents or family about it I just can't bring my self to get past the fear. I know I don't deserve a child because of this, I've also don't sleep and such because I am a hypocrite and don't know what to to. I want to tell them and to be a family with the other one. Its just not working out that way and I am the only one standing in the way. Given it's now the day before, would it be wrong to ruin Christmas by telling them now or a good thing..? Any advice or help is welcomed.

I would definitely tell them sooner rather than later but maybe not on Christmas Day, unless you can find a way of turning it into a gift for them. I don't think they will judge you for it given you want to be with the child's mother and they are more likely to be upset that you have kept it from them for so long.

Could you maybe arrange an opportunity for them to meet their grandchild too?

Well I do see them being upset either way, which they are totally entitled to. If it was a newborn or still in the womb, I see that it could be turned into a gift, but as of right now it'll be one of those "we don't have presents for them' awkward moments since the main idea behind their Christmas celebration is presents and such. Well me and the mother would like to arrange a time, its just that now, its even more stressful and you know will add to the anger is that they or better yet I miss my child's first Christmas. Which given how I've handled it, I am willing to take the fault for I do not deny that my actions have been horrible and that I am a saint for responding to such a situation in this way. As I said it is my fault I also accept that my lack of ability to sleep and my stress headaches to be from this situation again I created it so I am taking all the consequences of my actions. To be clear I am no way looking to just complain about them, I genuinely feel like such a horrible person.

Family's support can be really beneficial for you to overcome.