I'm not really up for Christmas
 

I know I haven't been on here since forever and I feel really rude now coming on here and posting things but I don't have anywhere else to go or anyone to talk to.
I've had a really bad week, I missed work twice in three weeks, last time was this weekend when I had to go up to A&E just to find out that apparently there's nothing wrong with me again. I've had to go to work with a migraine just so that I don't lose my job.
I was meant to go to my mum's today and ended up arguing with her this morning, she wouldn't listen to anything I had to say, that's how it was coming across anyway and it was pretty much first thing in the morning and I wasn't in the mood to discuss it or for arguing so I told her I wouldn't come over, I didn't even mean to say it.
I get my stubbornness from my mum so I'm pretty sure how it would go if I was to call her to try and sort things out.
I keep having nightmares about my ex. All the abuse and everything he put me through happened nearly three years ago and I thought I would have been over it by now, apparently I'm not because I've had nightmares about it three nights in a row.
I just want everything to stop, I'm just lucky that I have somewhere else to go for Christmas but it's not the same as seeing my family.
I don't even know what I want from this, I guess I just wanted to get it all out.

Your not being rude that's what this place is for. I'm sorry to hear that you have had such a rough week. It had to be rough working with a migraine. Are your migraine's gone now?

Sorry to hear about the argument with your mom. It's extremely frustrating for me when people don't seem to listen so I get where your coming from.

Has anything helped with the nightmares in the past? Maybe sleeping with a light on would help? or the tv? so if you wake up it's not quiet and dark. That has to be scary and frustrating to have happening after so long.

Glad to hear that you have somewhere else to go for Christmas.

How did your Christmas go in the end?

I'm so sorry I haven't replied, I totally forgot I'd even posted this and it's just randomly popped into my head now.
I'm still getting migraines, I got given some tablets for it but they don't really seem to be doing a lot to be honest. Once I have time to go, I'm going to go to the doctors again about it because I'm over my absence limit at work and I really can't afford to lose my job.
I went to see one of my friends for the day for Christmas, it was really nice. They had all the kids there so they all kept me occupied, it wasn't the same as spending it with my family but it was nice not to be on my own.
I made up with my mum in the end, it wasn't really a massive argument in the grand scheme of things but it felt like it at the time, we both apologised about it, we've both got stuff going on and I think that maybe we were both taking it out on each other.
Thank you for the replies and I'm so sorry that it took so long to get back to you.