Here I am...again
 

I'm on deployment yet again and almost done with it, and it's been a rough one. I had alot of plans for when I got home but everything changed literally the first week into deployment. My wife left me because she said she couldn't handle the distance and deployments, this is my second deployment. I've had a rough time these last 6 months at first it was easy because I could get lost in the work. Now that going home is approaching fast all I can think about is getting back and being alone. Trying to find a place to live quickly so I don't have to stay at a buddies house. I've battled with the loss of the love of my life and it's hard I can't remember the last time I was happy. I've taken a look at myself and noticed that I've let myself slip into a bad bout of depression and it's scary. I feel as if I may never be happy again

I'm sorry to hear that your wife left you and that you've found yourself in a bout of depression. Have you ever sought professional help for your depression?

You said you're trying to find a place to live quickly to avoid having to stay with a friend, but would it perhaps be worth staying with a friend for a little while when you get back, so that you don't have to be on your own during what could be a difficult time readjusting, and so that you have time to find somewhere nice to live, rather than wherever is available last minute? It might be nice to be able to spend some time surrounded by friends to remind you that you're not alone.

Thank you for the advice I may take it depending on who I decide to live with. Also yes I have been seen for depression by three different mental health professionals they all suggested medicine which I am opposed to it makes me feel worse. Also going to psych in the military is very much frowned upon and can be used against you even though it's not supposed to be.

What medications have you tried? Sometimes they can make you feel a little worse to start with and then it gets better, and if one doesn't work for you, another one might!

What military branch are you in? From my own experience with the Air Force, I know they take mental health really seriously. You're better off using a military psych, otherwise they will eventually pull your civilian medical records and you'll look like you were hiding something. My brother got screwed, he was about to be promoted to Mst Sgt and they pulled his medical records and he wasn't allowed to reenlist. :crazy: