Uncertain, Feeling down.
 

Hi friends,

I'm 22, Australian, and live in the US. I moved to LA alone and found a job and lived there for 7 months before moving to Philadelphia recently. I had a brief LDR with a girl here in Philly after I went there on a holiday and we spoke everyday. It was lovely. Anyway, on my next visit to Philly that sadly ended quickly and I ended up just staying in Philadelphia for a change of scenery to LA.

Anyway, my time in the US is coming to an end. I've always wanted to live here since I was in early high school and I'm getting depressed about having to leave. I don't want to have to go back to Australia as I would just be scheming of ways to be able to come back to the US.

For the first time in my life, I actually feel an extreme amount of uncertainty and lack of direction. I am generally very positive and am a bit of a rock of stability at times for some of my family members.

It doesn't help that right now I'm sick in bed and all im left with are my thoughts haha. Obviously that is a major reason why I'm feeling extra down right now.

Could really use a bit of wisdom right now..

Summary

Misses ex GF (but that was always going to end in pain due to me having to leave country so probably for the best). Must move back to own country in about 2-3 months against desire to stay. Feeling down about it all.

I'm sorry you're feeling so low at the moment, you seem to have a lot of negative stuff going on :-(
I don't really know what you can do about having to leave the US, it sucks but I don't know if there's any other option.
I'm afraid I don't have any advice, just wanted to offer some sympathy.

What you might find is that your life takes you back to Australia for a reason to learn or experience something before getting an opportunity to return to the US. It's actually quite exciting. One low leads to a big high. You might find a job back home that takes you back out or meet someone who wants to go to the US again with you at just the right time with the right finances. Try to perceive these events in your life as stepping stones to something better. That way you'll relax more and let go of resistance.

Semi zombied