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-   -   Shaken up :'( (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=228877)

Amaranth 10-12-2014 08:58 PM

Shaken up :'(
 
I've been having a bit of a dispute with my neighbour as she's been putting her wheelie bins in my area of garden ever since I moved in in May. I hate confrontation so was too scared to say or do anything until a couple of weeks ago when she put all of her rubbish in my bin. I moved her bins then onto her side of garden and planted some shrubs where she used to keep them as she had killed back all the plants.
She didn't move her bins from where I put them until tonight, I went outside when she tried to put them back to tell her I didn't want them there anymore and to protect the plants I'd put in. She got very rude and aggressive towards me, trying to push me out of the way; and when I had hold of her bin to try and move it away from my plants she grabbed my wrist and pulled it away really roughly. I did shout at her not to touch me - with my abusive past it's bad enough when people touch me when I'm not expecting it, but when it's aggressive I get really scared so I shout as an automatic reaction.
I don't think she's done any real damage to my wrist, but it does still hurt.
I've written an email to our Council housing officer to complain and I also sent an email to my local community policing team just because of what she did to my wrist. It's not that I want to take it further with the police, but I wanted there to be a record of what she had done.
I still feel so scared and emotional though. It all seems so pathetic - an argument over bins, but I don't want to let myself be bullied by her.
I think I just need some hugs or something, I feel really upset and alone :'(

phoenix_M 11-12-2014 09:36 AM

i know you ave said you dont really want to persue things with the police, but i kinda think you should. if shes making you feel that scared and anxious especially in your own home, you should push things further.

Amaranth 11-12-2014 10:51 PM

Thanks phoenix, I spoke to a lovely woman from the police today and I have a crime reference number and said it will be kept on record. I decided not to take things further as I'd like to be able to live as amicably as possible and I didn't want to antagonise her and risk turning it into a life-long feud. Apparently if I change my mind I just need to let the police know and they'll start a formal investigation.
I know a lot of the fear and anxiety stems from all the trauma in my past. I have ptsd so I can be quite hyper sensitive, someone with a less traumatic past probably wouldn't have thought much of it or gotten upset. I think I'm going to see how things go for now - I'm still feeling a bit emotional and anxious but I'm hoping the Council can help sort things out with the bins, and I'm sure I'll feel more normal again soon.
Thanks everyone for the hugs, it's helped to feel cared about. X

KneeSocks 12-12-2014 03:34 AM

I'm so sorry to hear about this. I agree with Phoenix and that you should go to the police. You shouldn't feel unsafe in your own home and this way if it happens again the police will have a record of it. I hope things work out for you hug!

Katie Smith 12-12-2014 05:12 AM

First of all I'm sorry that you have to live next to an ********. Secondly I want you to know that I have been through similar situations, including noise disturbance; name calling; damage to gardens and more by our lovely (not!) neighbour. I live at home with my parents and they called our housing association to report the incidents. My parents also kept an incident log and recorded day, time and date and what happened. It got some good results! Letters were sent to every house on our street and police have been around my neighbour's. I think they were let off with a warning. Let us know how you proceed.

Amaranth 12-12-2014 07:00 PM

Thanks for the replies. I think an activity log is a really good idea. The police have given me a reference number so if anything else happens it can all be linked, they're going to keep the assault on record anyway.

phoenix_M 17-12-2014 05:30 AM

sorry for the delayed reply. im glad you have managed to get things sorted, like others have mentioned just keep a log of what happens. atleast then you have the evidence if you need to pursue things

Amaranth 17-12-2014 03:26 PM

Thank you :-)

Steel Maiden 19-12-2014 01:07 AM

She is harassing you and intimidating / threatening you. You were right to go to the police.


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