What the hell is wrong with me??? *trig maybe?*
 

I am so bleh at the moment. Sometimes I am on top of the world and then a few hours later for no reason I just can't see the point in anything. I want to SI, everything is a complete effort and really not worth it and I just think about suicide etc. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me! I cannot handle the drastic ups and downs. I never know where I am. It's like something inside me suddenly snaps and I just cannot cope. I hate it!!

Please someone tell me what the hell is going on in my head!!! I don't know what to do or how to stop it and it is just so confusing and exhausting! The triggers when I'm down are so strong and it's just so tiring and so much effort to ignore them. :-(

I feel so weird and isolated. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry to whine and make you read all this crap, I'm just sick of it :crying:

There really isn't anything wrong with you. Being down, even if it seems pointless, has a reason. It is natural to be depressed and triggered and all that stuff. You can get through it. When I get low I just think about a statistic I heard a while back. It says that if you can be happy for 1 or 2 hours a day then you're better off then most people. You will make it through it to another day that will be better.

Hi,
Have you had a diagnoses? are you on meds? Do you have a psych?

I think its pretty normal to feel like this with depression and the like.

I hope you are getting the help you need.

Perhaps if you could elaborate a little we could offer a little more support?


Matthew

nope no diagnosis. I saw a psych twice when I was 15 then ran away from home for two years and with it left the psych too. I don't know what I am supposed to be doing. When I am 'high' it feels almost like I am invincible and I just dont see the point in seeing anyone when I feel like that because I am invincible. The rest of the time it just seems too hard and it takes all my effort to 'be'

Is there anyway you can get to the doctor and talk to them about it? I think that you could do with some care for this. Its sounds like you are cycling and it could be bi-polar and is most probably depression related (i guess thats no suprise).

All i can say is you need all the help and support you can muster. Many of us here have support medically and its still as hard as hell. So doing this all alone cant be easy at all. Meds can really help, as can having someone to talk to. It can be a long process and it can take a while to find the right combination but you can get through this.

Try to consider getting some help.

take care
Matthew x

Thanks for the replies. I suppose I should consider it but it just seems a big step to take and I am worried they will either laugh at me and dismiss it or push me aside and take control of my life.:ermm:

Yes, it is a big step.

But you are suffering from serious difficulties, and are in a lot of distress. You should be taken seriously, and have every right to be. A professional would never laugh at you. Why should they? Maybe you've not been taken seriously or acknowledged much before in your life.
Any professional worth their job will take you seriously, and work with you to find out what helps you.
Its natural to fear someone having control over you. But it shouldn't happen. I saw an NHS psychiatrist for a while, and he did his best to coordinate his treatment of me in line with the work me and my private psychotherapist are doing together. He did ramble on about EMDR and NLP occasionally, but I told him very clearly NO!

The important thing in any treatment is helping you to stabilise, and manage your symptoms more safely.