| havealittlefaith |
15-11-2014 03:06 PM |
I started the specalist counseling to talk about everything I went through with social services and next week will be my 4th session and rose thinks it's going well and I literalyl balled my eyes out , the anniversary of something is coming up as well, I can't cope with Xmas and stuff knowing I don't have bailey and the Christmas contact is gonna be hard im upset over the way everyone treats em things have been going down hill since the week were I got 136 4 times , im afraid of heading back this way , the thoughts to go to the bridge again are getting too much , I jsut find it harder to hold things toghether every day , my neighbours making my life hell so not even going there , I don't know she's gonna put me back on my college course or not , I felt so helpless when mich was ill , I've been in bed with a cold I can't shift making me feel crumy college I find hard I feel like I'm wasting my whole life , zoe is afraid that im going to accidently go to far when I hurt myself one time yet she says im capable and don't need anyone I tried to SH thurs with something didn't work and hen Friday it for to much sh but wasn't deep theres a place
I can go deep but I would end up in a&e but wouldn't go and Cuz I crossed that line im not Afrisd I drank a few times in the past couple of weeks , had to go to the sexual Health clinic Cuz I was drunk didn't know what actually happened to me at all , so stupid and I can't get myself back up so hard trying to pretend and yesterday's I spoek to the duty worker twice who said I've really got my self in to astate and well done for trying to talk before handing again but I'm not so sure I'll make it through this weekend and im afraid about college and I don't even know anymores it all sucks big times I spurn so pathetic Cuz other people have more problems that me they really do :( x
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