desperate for advice
 

I have been going for the past few weeks with not acting on eating disorder symptoms. But I have suddenly spiraled into depression. All I do is worry about things I shouldn't. I feel like a freak. I feel like with ed I was someone and now I am nothing. I have been symptom exchanging by doing other things. I don't know what to do. I am on meds and I have asked for more help. I am almost at the point where I'd rather be in my eating disorder than to be worrying. I have good points but the bad points are making me fall apart. Any tools for dealing with recovery, any distractions.

although its a lot to deal with and you feel like a freak, what your saying seems to be a ordinary part of any ED recovery, i think as you battle the thoughts then it is natural to become depressed as you realize how damaging the ED been and how powerful it has become. keep focusing on the good points. if you see a therapist talk with them about the battle you are currently having with yourself and look at completing thought records to help you map out the negative thoughts your having and combat them.

You mentioned ur not Ed anymore. Who's Ed? Is this the person u wanna be called Ed or have u always been called Ed? You was ur proberly ok in urself as Ed and things started to fall apart as u said?

You never really know the reason to why u been feeling why u are and we even know or we don't. It's looking at ur whole life and in accordance to when u started to feel the way u did with Eatting Disorder for one and writing or talking in depth why it made u feel like this, what made u feel like this, how it made u feel like this and who made u feel like this and knowing the solution to the how u can have help.

I think u need to try and work out from before what use to make u feel happy when u was urself. Knowing that u were able to cope and feel ok in urself is whats made u the person that u was. You should go back to it and ask urself what u use to do in ur spare time? There anyone like friends who u can catch up with? What did u wanna do as a career before but Couldnt? Those questions to look into and see for urself.

Maybe joining a club or a hobby is something what u can do to help u build up ur confidence, meet new people, enjoy something u like and focusing on what makes u happy right now. That could be taking up a sport, music, writing or art. Anything it can be. Voulnteering is good to do as well. What do u think?

Have u had counselling before or? What about seeing a doctor? Could that help in getting some support

JusC, I believe by ed they mean their eating disorder.

lcsmith88, well done on asking for more help. I don't think it is uncommon for people to feel nostalgic for their eating disorder when recovering. At some point in time it provided a role, not a constructive or healthy role and it takes some time to build up your reserves of healthy alternatives. Keep reaching out you will get there.

Are you receiving any therapy at the moment?

What else is going on in your life? One of the things that helped my ED recovery was to work on my sense of self. I found my ED so entrenching I couldn't work out who I was now it was gone. With help and support of friends, family and professionals I relearnt who I was and reintouch with me the friend, the sister, the daughter, the girlfriend. All the people that the ED stopped me being.

Thanks. I didn't know untill u said tiptoes. I hope ur recovery goes well for u as followed by the message below and u carry on getting the help u recieve. You seem to be doing well so I would still carry on with the therapy ur getting.

You know u can always get help from RYL anytime and that ur not on ur own. People have gone through it two so don't worry. I hope that helps? I'm here if u wanna talk two. Stay strong.

JusC